The Tale of Two Leaders.

A tale of two leaders.  

There once was a young lady beginning her career. She was hired as an intern at a large, successful architectural firm with world wide recognition in design.  She interned in a department where she had two very different bosses.  The first boss she worked with for the first part of each week.  This boss was demonstrative and demeaning and often so demanding and condescending it left her a bit nervous to work with him.  She felt inadequate in each project she did with him.  She often felt there was not a project she did well enough for him. Most of the time she questioned her talent and intelligence while working by his side.  He questioned her work constantly and left her wondering if she was ever going to learn all she needed in order to be hired there full time.  This boss talked about himself and his accomplishments constantly all while putting others down and questioning everyone's abilities and competence at the office.  She was well aware of his great accomplishments and often felt unworthy and not good enough to be there.  She often stood by watching him complete her projects because he didn't think she would complete it to his liking or he would just stand over her shoulder while she worked to make sure she completed the job to his liking. He would often times go back and re do projects to his liking.  In his presence she was keenly aware of his abilities and her lack of abilities…it was seemingly clear,  his talent and experience were both far greater than hers.

The second boss she interned with the second half of each week.  This boss had a much different style.  He often asked for her opinion on each project they worked on.  He would ask her how to do the projects and often seemed like he knew much less than her because he asked constantly for her opinion for each job.  She would leave each day thinking…I am so much smarter than this man and much more competent and talented because he won't even do these projects but rather hands them off to me.  She would often think why is he even working beside me if he is having me do all the work?  She thought his questions and encouragement for her to complete the projects was due to his lack of ability and flat out laziness.  She would get frustrated because many times, as she interned with this boss, she would make mistakes that he wouldn't catch or even seem to care about.  As the weeks went into months, she pushed herself to read up more on each project and not wait for him to help but just do it herself until she began to make fewer mistakes. She started to get excited for what she had been learning, no thanks to him.  He was often distant and just handed projects off to her and said please complete this project and turn it in to me next week and would then disappear for the rest of the day.

After her 3 month internship was completed she was called in to the president's office for a review with the 2 bosses she had worked alongside of for the past 3 months.  She was hoping to get a great review from both men and would be offered her dream job.  She was so excited to meet the president of this widely successful architectural firm.  It would be such an honor and accomplishment.

She walked in and sat down next to her first boss (the overpowering, arrogant and demonstrative man). The very sight of him made her so nervous wondering what kind of review he would give her, considering every project they had worked on together, he would undo and harshly critique.  She thought he would surely judge her work much harsher than her other boss because she was seemingly so un talented and inept throughout her internship with him.  She couldn't reconcile how she could doubt her ability so much with him but be so confident and accomplish so much in the second part of each week with her other boss.

She found it very odd that there were only 2 chairs for them to sit on. Her chair and her intimidating boss's chair both in front of the president's desk. Why was there not another chair for her other boss?  She laughed to herself at the thought that he probably got fired for being such a horrible and incompetent boss and not teaching as much as he was suppose to her but expecting her to work on all the projects and learn from her own mistakes. Serves him right, she thought, for being so lazy.  As she sat next to the other man she thought, I hope one day I can know as much as him and accomplish as much as he has accomplished. 

The two of them sat quietly waiting for the second boss and president to get to the meeting.  They both sat there looking forward in this top floor presidents office that took up the entire 78th floor of this beautiful skyscraper building.  They looked at the huge presidential style desk up against the backdrop of New York City through the wall of windows. The view was breathtaking.  It was taking a while and she was getting more and more nervous at the thought of the review.

The second boss walked in a few minutes late (of course he's late, she thought).  As she turned around she told him there are only 2 chairs but go ahead and pull up a chair from the other side of the room and come sit up here by the desk.  He humbly smiled and said no thank you I will sit over here….as he walked past her and sat down on the chair behind the presidents desk.

Perplexed by his behavior.  She said what? What are you doing?  He smiled and said she had done such an amazing job in the last 3 months of her internship. He was very impressed with her ability to problem solve, complete projects, work with others on the team and with her talent.  She sat there with her jaw dropped.  She was interning this entire time for the president of this enormous firm and he never mentioned that one time?  He said what he loved the most was the fact that when he gave her a project she took the time to learn how to do it and complete it. He said she was so driven to do it well and that showed her ability and character.  He added that he loved when he asked her questions she was so focused on getting the answers by working even harder.  He said he knew she could do it and she proved that he was right and was glad he gave her so much to do.

Tears began to well up in her eyes…all those times he asked her questions wasn't because he didn't know the answer…it was because he did know the answer but wanted her to either find the answer herself or trust that she already knew the answer and had to implement it herself instead of second guessing what she already knew.  He didn't want her to depend on her first boss to come in and tell her what she did wrong & redo it.  He was encouraging her to step out and gain confidence in her ability instead of comparing herself to another person's work.

She was overwhelmed at the very clear fact now that she had been interviewing for the president for the last 3 months.  He took the time to believe in her, encourage her and trusted that she knew what she was doing.  She was humbled at the thought of his leadership and how he never bragged about his very obvious accomplishments as the president of this multi million dollar company.  He took time to encourage and believe in some girl intern he didn't even know!  She felt guilt for thinking he was, at times, incompetent and lazy and now realized that he was intentionally giving her projects to train her for the job he knew laid ahead for her.  He wanted her to believe in what she had hoped was true about herself….she did have talent.

He turned to her and said you are hired.  Through her glassy eyes she said thank you but for what position.  He turned to her first boss and said….you are hired for his position.  She gasped.  His position? Why?  He said, because of his arrogance and project over site, I have lost more money than I care to admit.  The morale on his floor has been shattered because everyone on his team feels inadequate and inferior to him. They never feel good enough to work on his projects and he re did most of their work only to present it to several of our clients completely wrong and it cost us money….but more importantly he has cost us our reputation with a clients because of his arrogant attitude.  

You see, his words, are far more competent than his ability and he consistently wanted everyone to know how great he was.  That is not the kind of leadership I want for my company.  In order to build a company and a successful team, you need to get your employees to believe in their own God given abilities and talent & not try to mimic a person whose ability they think they need. Each person on my team needs to work on the job they are suppose to do instead of all doing the same job as some arrogant guy who thinks everyone should do it like him.  I want a team not a dictator.  And a team has many different jobs all working towards the same goal.

She left that day with a very powerful life lesson. Leadership comes in all sorts of styles and walking in humility, may very well give you the keys to a way bigger job than you ever knew you were interviewing for.

She learned that day to be careful as to how you treat people.  Value them and their God given abilities.  Be the kind of leader who encourages and inspires people to walk in all that God calls them to instead of intimidating them into what you want them to do.  Each of us has different gifts and callings so be humble because who knows, God may be preparing you to lead something you never even imagined God could call you to lead!

Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.  James 4:10

Living in Community

My topic today is Community and I would really love to hear your feedback in the comment section at the end of the blog on today's subject, too.  Feel free to share your heart.

Community. 

I grew up in a small town further north.  Came from a good family where family values and strong communication were always encouraged and expected.  I grew up in a small church where everyone knew my name.  I liked knowing that I was known and that my family was known. Actually, the whole town knew everyones name.  Yes, kind of like that song.

How do you define community?

Connection and community were engrained into every fiber of who I (was) and am as a person.  It was taught by example from very early on and expected unconditionally to be lived out and shared.

How do you define community?

It is the filter or lens I look through to see the world around me. It is how I view parenting, marriage, friendships, the Church and anything else I encounter involving people.  It's how I view working relationships and serving or volunteering endeavors.  To work together as a team.  Appreciate each other.  Listen and encourage one another.  Share each others burdens.  Acknowledge each other and not use one another for personal gain.  Live with grace and mercy extended to those you are living life with, all while challenging each other. 

Balance. 

It is a concept I cannot escape.  It is a concept that cannot be separated from who I am as a person. A concept I have never wanted to disconnect from or try to "weed" out of my personality….I loved it and it defined my world.  Relational.  Connected. Community driven & encouraged.

How do you define community?

A couple of weeks ago we were out to dinner with some good friends and church community was pretty much the topic of discussion for most of the night.  The need by all of us to connect somewhere with someone, to be a part of a larger group of people we call home.  To live life next to and share our lives with.  There was a sense of how important this is in our lives.

There seemed to, at times, be an absence of opportunity to authenticaly connect to a body of believers throughout our lives.  We tried to figure out why.  (Not necessarily the absence of Christian friends because we all have those but more specifically a coming together each week to live life out together…connected more than the occasional dinner or coffee to catch up).

Maybe it is because we are all way to busy, over worked, over extended and stressed out to stop and take time to be involved in one another's lives. Maybe it's because somewhere along the line we had been hurt causing us to pull back from any community.  No matter what the reasons were or are, I am sure that is not how God intended us to live…. 

Alone. 

The very nature of God is relational.  He is the Trinity.  At His very core He is relationship driven and invites us to be the same with Him and with other believers.  

Connecting with a community of believers takes some time and effort but the invested time does provide a return…community develops shared experiences while rejoicing with one another and carrying each other's burdens.  A very Biblical principle.

Whenever people find it is easier to connect to their work, neighborhoods and non Christian friends, there is a problem.  A real problem.

We are suppose to be surrounding ourselves with people where iron sharpens iron instead surrounding ourselves with groups where bad company is jeopardizing good character.  Yet, so many churches are so often set up as great places to come on a Sunday morning but do not go beyond that to connect people past Sunday.

They are not challenged to live life together.  Sunday becomes a cheerleading service but by Monday morning the lack luster of the pep rally has worn off leaving people to fight the faith alone or worse, not fight at all but rather drag themselves through the week disconnected from any other believer who can encourage, love and walk alongside them.

How do you define community?

I look back on difficult times in my own life and church community experiences both positive and negative have formed my outlook on what Church community should and should not look like.  Now, those experiences in a huge way, motivate me to never let someone grieve or go through difficulties alone ever again if it is at all possible by me.  I choose to continue to pursue a community of believers willing to live life out together and share in the ups and downs and encourage other Christians to do the same.

If you are a Christian but do not have community of believers you live life out with there is simply put, something pretty big and important missing in your life…. opportunities to share life with other Christians.  

So many of us all asking the same question.  How can I connect to a community of believers?  

Maybe the owness falls on us.  How do you connect though when you are not given opportunity?  When the world offers a better opportunity to fit in their community than the Church does has become a problem. I grew up knowing what a church community or group of believers living life together should look like.  It is what I pursue. It is what I was trying to do with Inspire…..connect lives. It is what I will continue to do for my entire life.  Connect people.

How do you define community?  Webster defines it as this...

Community defined: A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, goals and faith.  

If you feel like you are missing this in your life, I want you to know that is not how God intended your Christian life to look.  He does not want you to feel alone with no one involved in your life.  He wants you to be connected to a community of believers!