I generally don't write more than 1 blog a month but I'm pretty excited about what God is showing me so here I go....it'll be short.
Captive thoughts what does this mean? Well, I know what it means, but what does it mean in our own personal lives? 2 Corinthians 10:5 says this " We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. I love that but I really love how the Message Bible puts it....
"The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't
fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have
and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or
manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt
culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped
philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God,
fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure
of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the
ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into
maturity."
"...fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure
of life shaped by Christ"
Let that sink in for a moment (or a lifetime). I was just telling a friend a battle I went through a while back and my exact words were this "The world doesn't fight fair"! My situation at the time, was such that I kept thinking this just isn't fair that when I'm down, all these thoughts are getting thrown at me too and then I got this Scripture out and this part rang true, the world doesn't fight fair but God's Word IS fair and true, it is timeless and always works when applied to our situations in life as we walk them out.
Have you ever struggled with something in your mind? Maybe it's something everyone knows you've struggled with or maybe it's just between you and God. Nonetheless it's a struggle to keep your mind from wondering back to a thought pattern that maybe you've thought you could never overcome and has often times overcome you. Maybe it was a loose thought, emotion or impulse that you feel like you just can't get past. You can. You will. But it is a battle, but all battles have a winner and you can win. Not in your own strength or power. Not by buying a ton of self-help books (really, who are those books helping other than the ones writing them by making money), not by quietly meditating on a mountain somewhere chanting some powerless phrase...no you take every thought captive and make it obedient to God. It is an action that you take.
I know what you're asking now....so I have to take the thought captive one time and I'm done with it right? Wrong. Sometimes, in different seasons of my life, I've had to take the same thought captive over and over again 100 hundred times a day until I overcame a wrong way of thinking. Taking your thoughts captive you can turn it around by taking God's Word and applying it to your thoughts until you overcome those thoughts and begin thinking on whatever is true, whatever is lovely, whatever is noble (those are the thoughts we are to be thinking on Phil 4:8). In other words, you can replace the lies that are going through your head about yourself or how others view you or your shortcomings that you feel and replace them with how God views you and your situations. He loves you, He has good thoughts for you and a purpose for you He, daughter, is enthralled with your beauty, you are an overcomer, victorious not defeated...the list goes on and on!
Renew your mind daily with God's Word and don't give up hope. You can overcome wrong thinking patterns...keep pressing in and meditating on scriptures that give life, hope and healing (even for your broken thoughts). And, by the way, if there is something you are really struggling with that nobody knows about, find someone you trust and is a strong Christian (a good friend, a pastor, family member or your spouse) and tell them you are struggling so you can have somebody to be accountable to. I am thankful for a couple of amazing people in my life who will speak truth into my crazy thoughts (even if it hurts a little to hear from time to time).
Press on sisters!! God has awesome things in store for you! Don't grow weary in the battle!! :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Choices
We are faced with choices every day. They come in different sizes...some come with ease while others bring difficulty and heartbreak. From choices to hit the snooze one more time on a dark rainy morning, to what kind of coffee to drink, what to wear or eat today, what road to take during construction to more difficult choices like where to send your kids to school, where to move (or should you move), should you tell a friend her husband is cheating on her or even harder should we take a family member home to pass peacefully, free from hospital commotion? The list goes on and on. You get the point, choices come in all different shapes in sizes. Some of them are so completely common that we choose without even giving thought to them while others are painstakingly long processes in order to make the right choices. Some choices effect other choices. They are personal to you and your life and your preferences.
I have been leading a Bible study on the book of James for about 7 weeks now. This is probably one of my favorite books of the Bible. For someone like me, who likes things to be said direct and succinctly, it gives me more than ample directions. I love that. What I didn't expect to learn throughout the study is the backround as to why James was giving the directions, who his audience was and who he was "emulating" if you will. If you look at Matthew 5-7, the sermon on the mount you will see Jesus, James' big, half brother giving a list of instructions. If you are like me and love to run down a mental (or written) checklist of what you are doing, then you love both the book of James and even more Jesus' words in this portion of scripture. All it takes to live a holy life and get all "A's in your Christian walk is to follow these rules to a "T" right? Simple. I like clean clear cut direction.
What I didn't anticipate learning from this study but more importantly from the last few years of my messy valley of a life is that it takes so much more than reading my list of rules, checking them off and going about my day. It takes a...choice to live them out from a heart perspective and not a mind perspective. Living as though they are in your heart is different then running through a list of do's and don'ts in your mind. When faced with anything deep, intense or emotionally time consuming in life you have a choice that you can begin to look at the Word of God with a different perspective maybe with a little more heart than mind. I've had so many conversations where Christians condone what they feel is permissible in their walk with God without falling into sin. In other words, people often ask what can I get away with...what are the gray areas that maybe are not in black and white in the sermon on the mount, the book of James or the whole Bible for that matter?
As I've walked through some pretty intense emotions of loss, I realized something that I thought I already knew but now is my reality that I am so thankful for. You can run down a list of do's and don'ts, you can try to walk as close to the line as you can without falling into sin to be "culturally relevant", you can even pretty it up and make it look like you are saving the world on the outside but the truth of the matter is this, if you are not doing any of it from a pure heart than it is useless and no better than the Pharisees keeping the law. The Bible says the heart is deceitful above all else and who can know it? (Jer 17:9). The choices we make in our Christian walk go beyond our own ability to check off a list of rules as to how to have a great a Christian walk in front of people. Our choices come in the quiet moments alone with God....when it is you and Him and He alone knows why you are doing the things you do. Are you doing them for public affirmation, are you doing them because you feel like you have something or someone to prove yourself to, are you doing them because you feel like He wouldn't love you if you didn't do them so you are working for his love out of your insecurities or are you just truly doing them out of obligation or religion or are you staying so busy doing things in effort to keep yourself from dealing with the bigger issues at hand? I've done all of them at different times in life to varying degrees. Your heart can deceive you. My heart has deceived me.
I think through the last few years of my life and I was often times just barely surviving, thanking God that I had a relationship with Him before this storm had taken place. I knew my choices to hold onto Him were coming out of a place of brokeness & necessity to remain somewhat sane (although the person I had been before was quickly changing) in the midst of my pain I could never have imagined the depth it would bring that I so desperately needed in my life and then it would also expose so many ways my heart had deceived me and it was ugly. My prayers now have been 'search me oh God, and KNOW my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts See if there is ANY offensive way in me..... Psalm 139 (of course) 23-24 and then get rid of it God..all the ugly stuff. Let God check your heart when making choices in your walk with Him. Let your prayer be that God would reveal your own heart motives to you with every choice you make whether you are walking on a mountain or through a valley.
It goes so far beyond whether or not you can get an "A" for all the rules you follow. Even more heartbreaking is the scripture in James 1:23-24 when he said "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." So, you just have an illusion of a walk with God but are forgetting what it says when making difficult choices in life. What good is having a form of godliness but denying its power? How can somebody have a form of godliness but deny its power? They haven't dealt with their heart motives. Choosing to just follow a list of rules without ever letting God transform your heart, or letting Him search your heart will render you powerless and empty. Choose to let the Word of God sink deep into your heart and allow Him to change your heart, heal you, lead you from the inside out, it may mean you will still make mistakes. Scratch that....you will make mistakes but from the depths of your heart, cry out to walk this life and make choices that honor Him...not because it's the "right" thing to do or because this is just the way you've always done it but because He has truly transformed your heart and you are serving Him because you truly love Him and want to do all the things we read about in His word. So, in all the choices you make daily choose to have a heart following after God, after all, it is so much more fulfilling than an all A report card with no heart transformation.
I have been leading a Bible study on the book of James for about 7 weeks now. This is probably one of my favorite books of the Bible. For someone like me, who likes things to be said direct and succinctly, it gives me more than ample directions. I love that. What I didn't expect to learn throughout the study is the backround as to why James was giving the directions, who his audience was and who he was "emulating" if you will. If you look at Matthew 5-7, the sermon on the mount you will see Jesus, James' big, half brother giving a list of instructions. If you are like me and love to run down a mental (or written) checklist of what you are doing, then you love both the book of James and even more Jesus' words in this portion of scripture. All it takes to live a holy life and get all "A's in your Christian walk is to follow these rules to a "T" right? Simple. I like clean clear cut direction.
What I didn't anticipate learning from this study but more importantly from the last few years of my messy valley of a life is that it takes so much more than reading my list of rules, checking them off and going about my day. It takes a...choice to live them out from a heart perspective and not a mind perspective. Living as though they are in your heart is different then running through a list of do's and don'ts in your mind. When faced with anything deep, intense or emotionally time consuming in life you have a choice that you can begin to look at the Word of God with a different perspective maybe with a little more heart than mind. I've had so many conversations where Christians condone what they feel is permissible in their walk with God without falling into sin. In other words, people often ask what can I get away with...what are the gray areas that maybe are not in black and white in the sermon on the mount, the book of James or the whole Bible for that matter?
As I've walked through some pretty intense emotions of loss, I realized something that I thought I already knew but now is my reality that I am so thankful for. You can run down a list of do's and don'ts, you can try to walk as close to the line as you can without falling into sin to be "culturally relevant", you can even pretty it up and make it look like you are saving the world on the outside but the truth of the matter is this, if you are not doing any of it from a pure heart than it is useless and no better than the Pharisees keeping the law. The Bible says the heart is deceitful above all else and who can know it? (Jer 17:9). The choices we make in our Christian walk go beyond our own ability to check off a list of rules as to how to have a great a Christian walk in front of people. Our choices come in the quiet moments alone with God....when it is you and Him and He alone knows why you are doing the things you do. Are you doing them for public affirmation, are you doing them because you feel like you have something or someone to prove yourself to, are you doing them because you feel like He wouldn't love you if you didn't do them so you are working for his love out of your insecurities or are you just truly doing them out of obligation or religion or are you staying so busy doing things in effort to keep yourself from dealing with the bigger issues at hand? I've done all of them at different times in life to varying degrees. Your heart can deceive you. My heart has deceived me.
I think through the last few years of my life and I was often times just barely surviving, thanking God that I had a relationship with Him before this storm had taken place. I knew my choices to hold onto Him were coming out of a place of brokeness & necessity to remain somewhat sane (although the person I had been before was quickly changing) in the midst of my pain I could never have imagined the depth it would bring that I so desperately needed in my life and then it would also expose so many ways my heart had deceived me and it was ugly. My prayers now have been 'search me oh God, and KNOW my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts See if there is ANY offensive way in me..... Psalm 139 (of course) 23-24 and then get rid of it God..all the ugly stuff. Let God check your heart when making choices in your walk with Him. Let your prayer be that God would reveal your own heart motives to you with every choice you make whether you are walking on a mountain or through a valley.
It goes so far beyond whether or not you can get an "A" for all the rules you follow. Even more heartbreaking is the scripture in James 1:23-24 when he said "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." So, you just have an illusion of a walk with God but are forgetting what it says when making difficult choices in life. What good is having a form of godliness but denying its power? How can somebody have a form of godliness but deny its power? They haven't dealt with their heart motives. Choosing to just follow a list of rules without ever letting God transform your heart, or letting Him search your heart will render you powerless and empty. Choose to let the Word of God sink deep into your heart and allow Him to change your heart, heal you, lead you from the inside out, it may mean you will still make mistakes. Scratch that....you will make mistakes but from the depths of your heart, cry out to walk this life and make choices that honor Him...not because it's the "right" thing to do or because this is just the way you've always done it but because He has truly transformed your heart and you are serving Him because you truly love Him and want to do all the things we read about in His word. So, in all the choices you make daily choose to have a heart following after God, after all, it is so much more fulfilling than an all A report card with no heart transformation.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Married with Children
My oldest daughter will be 13 next month. My husband and I are looking at each other in amazement wondering how time can fly so quick and how in the world a couple of 25 year olds can have a 13 year old? But time keeps moving, fast. Throughout our marriage we have been asked a million and one times by friends and outsiders how our marriage works out this great, how it is we are more than thrilled to have all girls and how is there not more drama in the whole process of raising them?
We often laugh when people ask why we aren't complaining about each others Idiosyncrasies or why we aren't complaining about how "difficult" it is to raise girls. The very quick follow up to these questions are often one of two responses. One, well you must have just married a really great husband and two, we must have been lucky to get 3 easy personality types with our girls. Those responses are always followed up with a warning of just wait til they are teens because you are going to be in so much trouble with all those girls!
I have 3 responses to these statements.
Marriage. Isn't it funny when people do not want to work at something they look around at what everybody else has and will complain that they don't have that same thing. What this person maybe does not realize is that anything that is good requires work. Lots of work. Yes, it can be fun (Jim & I are living proof of that) but that is because we have worked hard at our marriage. It doesn't happen by accident...it is intentional. It is a commitment to talk everything out, choose to spend time together, pray together, and most importantly to put God first, then your spouse (not yourself). Choose to laugh together, choose to not take everything so seriously or pick apart your spouses faults...pick up a mirror and realize you are not perfect either. Value each others opinions and dreams....take time to dream together and realize when you made a commitment to each other, your happily ever after was going to be a team effort and you will be working at it happily ever after...it won't just be an accidental, magical fairy tale. The benefits of choosing your spouse over yourself, compromising or even relinquishing your "right" to be right every single time, is unbelievably awesome when both the husband and wife are doing the same thing at the same time.
Children. Daddies, pour into your baby girls, your elementary girls, your jr high girls and, yes, even your high school aged girls. They need and crave your input! Tell them their value and worth to you and your wife and to your family! Say I love you. Often. If you don't they will find someone who does. Tell them it is alright or better yet expected from them to be modest. That your girls are worth being fought for and deserve a man who treats them with respect. Show them the love of an unconditional father...in your hands you hold the opportunity to show them in earthly terms how much their Heavenly Father loves them! You will help form how they see God the Father. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. And, oh yeah, communicate. Start from the time they are baby girls in a crib. If you talk and listen to them talk during those little tea parties they throw every few hours, that will carry over (if you continue keeping those lines of communication open) to when they are invited to their first "real" party whatever that may look like. She will come home and tell you all the events that happened at those parties as well. Trust me, I know. I did. The good, the bad, the ugly, the tears, the pain, the drama, my dad heard it all. Jim hears it all from our 3 sweet little girls. He loves every moment of it. My dad did too. Choose to be intentional in your relationship with your daughters.
Ok, moms, you are not off the hook when it comes to raising your daughters! 95% of the time it is other ladies who tell me the dread they feel in the relationship with their daughters. Why? This may sting a little, but most of the time it is because their daughters are a direct reflection of the mom and what that mother did in raising their girls. Moms, your daughters are watching your every move to see how they are suppose to act as girls, young ladies and as woman. Be an example. Period. Be a Godly example. Walk out in front of them how they are suppose to handle situations, both positive and negative. However you want your girls to act like, you must act like! I remember waking up for school every day as a kid and going to my back family room and would see my mom with a cup of coffee, open Bible on her lap as she would turn to me and smile and say she was talking to Jesus, he calls me Margaret and I'm listening to Him. Show them how to love the mess out of Jesus, show them how to walk out purpose in their lives, show them how to dress appropriately, show them how to love unconditionally, show them how to laugh at themselves and not take life so seriously, show them it is possible as ladies to live drama free lives, show them what an intentional, passionate purpose filled life looks like, show them how to overlook an offense and how to be a wife, friend, sister, daughter, overcomer! Don't compete with your girls for attention. Ever. Build them up and encourage them with your words. Notice I've said "show" them? Daughters will watch your every move to see if your life is real and sincere....they don't want to hear you say, do something, when you are not showing them that you yourself aren't willing to do it. You will lose credibility. Live your life in front of them. That's not to say you won't go through trials. You will. Go through them together...show your daughters how to go through the storms of life with grace....that is the biggest lesson my mom has shown me in her pain. How to hold on to Jesus through storms and receive his grace and strength through each season both good and bad. I can hope & pray that I can give my girls the same gift.
All this to say, if you didn't have this growing up or do not have this right now with your marriage or with your daughters, God is the God of second, third, one hundred chances. Today is the day you can start making a difference in your marriage and in the lives of your kids! You can do it. Open up your Bible and it has tons of instructions as to what love looks like, how to be a great wife or husband or parent. Grab a friend who can help keep you accountable where you feel like maybe you are falling short. Do not condemn yourself....every morning God's mercy is new for that day! You can receive that mercy and extend it to everyone else in your family....you will be pleasantly surprised at the responses and outcomes!
Much love,
Amy
We often laugh when people ask why we aren't complaining about each others Idiosyncrasies or why we aren't complaining about how "difficult" it is to raise girls. The very quick follow up to these questions are often one of two responses. One, well you must have just married a really great husband and two, we must have been lucky to get 3 easy personality types with our girls. Those responses are always followed up with a warning of just wait til they are teens because you are going to be in so much trouble with all those girls!
I have 3 responses to these statements.
Marriage. Isn't it funny when people do not want to work at something they look around at what everybody else has and will complain that they don't have that same thing. What this person maybe does not realize is that anything that is good requires work. Lots of work. Yes, it can be fun (Jim & I are living proof of that) but that is because we have worked hard at our marriage. It doesn't happen by accident...it is intentional. It is a commitment to talk everything out, choose to spend time together, pray together, and most importantly to put God first, then your spouse (not yourself). Choose to laugh together, choose to not take everything so seriously or pick apart your spouses faults...pick up a mirror and realize you are not perfect either. Value each others opinions and dreams....take time to dream together and realize when you made a commitment to each other, your happily ever after was going to be a team effort and you will be working at it happily ever after...it won't just be an accidental, magical fairy tale. The benefits of choosing your spouse over yourself, compromising or even relinquishing your "right" to be right every single time, is unbelievably awesome when both the husband and wife are doing the same thing at the same time.
Children. Daddies, pour into your baby girls, your elementary girls, your jr high girls and, yes, even your high school aged girls. They need and crave your input! Tell them their value and worth to you and your wife and to your family! Say I love you. Often. If you don't they will find someone who does. Tell them it is alright or better yet expected from them to be modest. That your girls are worth being fought for and deserve a man who treats them with respect. Show them the love of an unconditional father...in your hands you hold the opportunity to show them in earthly terms how much their Heavenly Father loves them! You will help form how they see God the Father. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. And, oh yeah, communicate. Start from the time they are baby girls in a crib. If you talk and listen to them talk during those little tea parties they throw every few hours, that will carry over (if you continue keeping those lines of communication open) to when they are invited to their first "real" party whatever that may look like. She will come home and tell you all the events that happened at those parties as well. Trust me, I know. I did. The good, the bad, the ugly, the tears, the pain, the drama, my dad heard it all. Jim hears it all from our 3 sweet little girls. He loves every moment of it. My dad did too. Choose to be intentional in your relationship with your daughters.
Ok, moms, you are not off the hook when it comes to raising your daughters! 95% of the time it is other ladies who tell me the dread they feel in the relationship with their daughters. Why? This may sting a little, but most of the time it is because their daughters are a direct reflection of the mom and what that mother did in raising their girls. Moms, your daughters are watching your every move to see how they are suppose to act as girls, young ladies and as woman. Be an example. Period. Be a Godly example. Walk out in front of them how they are suppose to handle situations, both positive and negative. However you want your girls to act like, you must act like! I remember waking up for school every day as a kid and going to my back family room and would see my mom with a cup of coffee, open Bible on her lap as she would turn to me and smile and say she was talking to Jesus, he calls me Margaret and I'm listening to Him. Show them how to love the mess out of Jesus, show them how to walk out purpose in their lives, show them how to dress appropriately, show them how to love unconditionally, show them how to laugh at themselves and not take life so seriously, show them it is possible as ladies to live drama free lives, show them what an intentional, passionate purpose filled life looks like, show them how to overlook an offense and how to be a wife, friend, sister, daughter, overcomer! Don't compete with your girls for attention. Ever. Build them up and encourage them with your words. Notice I've said "show" them? Daughters will watch your every move to see if your life is real and sincere....they don't want to hear you say, do something, when you are not showing them that you yourself aren't willing to do it. You will lose credibility. Live your life in front of them. That's not to say you won't go through trials. You will. Go through them together...show your daughters how to go through the storms of life with grace....that is the biggest lesson my mom has shown me in her pain. How to hold on to Jesus through storms and receive his grace and strength through each season both good and bad. I can hope & pray that I can give my girls the same gift.
All this to say, if you didn't have this growing up or do not have this right now with your marriage or with your daughters, God is the God of second, third, one hundred chances. Today is the day you can start making a difference in your marriage and in the lives of your kids! You can do it. Open up your Bible and it has tons of instructions as to what love looks like, how to be a great wife or husband or parent. Grab a friend who can help keep you accountable where you feel like maybe you are falling short. Do not condemn yourself....every morning God's mercy is new for that day! You can receive that mercy and extend it to everyone else in your family....you will be pleasantly surprised at the responses and outcomes!
Much love,
Amy
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