Sometimes your gifts and callings are obvious but sometimes they are hidden until a series of events make the choice clear. I love when that happens, albeit surprised by the choice but always can see the hand of God in it.
Even though I had all sisters I was more of a tom boy growing up..playing with all the boys in the neighborhood climbing trees, running, chasing, playing cops and robbers..dolls were boring to me (still are..I always beg my girls..please can't we color or draw instead of playing dolls). As, I got into high school I had a few close girlfriends and we hung out with the artsy group of guys (small crowd in Richmond…believe me;) Nonetheless, it was easier, guys were funny, sarcastic, weren't going to gossip or be mean. Although, I have always been competitive, I never wanted to compete with the girls who were vying for the attention of guys so I would rather just hang out and be friends than compete for a title or boyfriend. I viewed myself as the girl next door and liked it that way. I still like being the girl next door..
As I grew up and met Jim my mom and a close girlfriend told me to lose the guy friends now that I was dating Jim…and that's exactly what I did gladly. As, we started to have kids..one girl…two girls…three girls..my parents thought it was comical how God had a sense of humor by giving ME all girls..but what I couldn't ever have imagined was all the many ways God was going to show himself to me through my 3 little beauties! I began to see a huge need for young moms like myself who were struggling through the bumps of new motherhood and I began to get women together to talk once a week where our kids could play. So, my 1000 sq foot home after a while overflowed with roughly 15-20 women and wall to wall newborns to toddlers.
We talked about our struggles, our fears, our husbands and our new found life that was flipped upside down by a little person. I began to have a heart for women…which had never been the case. I was always the girl who made fun of women's retreats and Bible studies because I thought it was just a bunch of cry babies complaining about their husbands…but now after several years/studies/retreats I see I was so wrong and there is such a need for God to encourage a woman's heart.
As, my girls grow, strangers constantly speak stupid comments to me all the time about having all girls, I get infuriated at the negative attitude towards women and girls in this country. I and my "shy" personality (haha) always love coming back with some quick comment about how much I adore girls and would have 5 more if I could! It always shocks people and I have been known to say I'm so sorry for your horrible life and insecurities as a woman..in which case the woman walks away dumbfounded at my remarks..my girls and I always laugh and go about our day.
But as I really have began to think of why when I was younger did I not like to hang out with girls and why in the world was and is everybody commenting on how hard having girls can be? The answer keeps coming back to me over and over again. Women are not aware that anyone is enthralled with their beauty much less a King..and not just any king..the KING of KINGS is enthralled with their beauty!
I was blessed beyond measure to be raised in a home with both parents pouring into me and believing in me and then married a man who is unbelievable at giving me wings to fly and believing in me all the while. That is not so with everyone women. For whatever their circumstance is…they don't know they are beautiful! And I'm not talking about Hollywoods version of beautiful…heck nobody can attain that…they are airbrushed, well lit and have fake ev-er-y-thing!!
I'm am talking an inner beauty that comes from the confidence of knowing that there is a very real Savior who loves them and believes in them..and has a purpose for them. These insecure women feel that they don't have a voice and feel that everything is wrong inside of them and so they put down other women or try to fight through a crowd to be seen or heard or affirmed instead of resting in the absolute knowledge that God, the creator of the world hears them and thinks they are beautiful! I was just reminded of this recently when I saw a young girl fighting for the attention of a guy in a situation. I had to laugh to myself because the enemy has no new tricks up his sleeve…if he can get a girl to believe they need the affirmation of a man instead of God a girl will run in circles for her entire life and never walk in what God called them too. Dont get me wrong I love a compliment just as much as the next girl and Im all about words of encouragement, but if you are searching for a compliment to fill a void and insecurity...no amount of words will fill that.
And as I thought about that situation I thought God this is quite funny…I feel like over the last several years God has placed in my heart a desire to help women know their place in the Kingdom of God. Ladies, Jesus is enthralled with your beauty…you have purpose and God sees your heart and has good and amazing things planned for you! Take the world by storm and stop hating on other women..God loves you..lets work together for His glory!
