I've been married to probably the coolest guy I know for almost 15 years now and we've been together for 16 years and I've learned a few things about guys.
I will not pretend to understand them completely just as they could never dream of completely understanding us ladies…and that's why great girlfriends are a must have in our lives. Other girls get our brains and emotions. I think of 3 girlfriends in my life that I am most thankful for….just for the plain fact that in this last week of my life I've talked with each of them and they understand where I am, where I've been and where I'm headed to! I am so grateful for them when my husband looks at me with his head tilted and says huh?
But most of the time, he gets me, understands me and loves me despite my crazy personality! Marriage and every relationship takes intentional decisions to stay connected so here it goes….what do guys really want from us girls? Dinner on the table, clean underwear in their drawer (not in a laundry basket in the corner of the room not folded…don't judge, we've all left the clean basket unfolded longer than we were suppose to), a nicely kept home and perfect abs and great lingerie? Nope, not it, unless your guy is superficial and doesn't care about the deeper stuff! All that stuff is great, but let's be honest ladies….life throws us curve balls and so keeping up with all that stuff, plus kids and holding down a job or career and carting everyone everywhere keeps us treading water and sometimes plain ole makes you feel like we are drowning in an endless supply of chores and to do lists….
All that stuff is the superficial stuff…the mechanics and tedious details of life. What a guy needs more than anything in this world is your unconditional love and support. Different guys receive that differently than other guys but at the end of the day the concept is the same no matter how you deliver it.
A guys wants to know you are supporting him 100%.
He needs to know you believe in him and what he is called to do.
He needs you to build him up….not tear him down. Nagging will only shut him down and you will not get anything from him! Even if he does do what you are asking him to do, eventually he will resent being told what to do by you!
He wants a girl who is confident and not needy….guys want to know you are strong and you can do it…it is so unappealing to be the weak damsel in distress gal. He may want that at the beginning but clingy and drama get old after a while and tears up a relationship.
He sometimes wants your undivided attention and time! Put down what you are doing, tell the kids to run and play (they can entertain themselves) and pay attention to what he is saying to you! Support his dreams and his vision….share with him your dreams and vision….God will connect you both through sharing more than just your list of stuff to do that day…share your heart and listen to his. Now he will never ever word it like that. "Honey, listen to my heart" probably won't come out of any straight guys mouth but read between the lines when he is sharing with you what he hopes to accomplish in life and then encourage him to do it! Find something you guys have in common and then do that too!
I remember when my husband called me up to tell me he was quitting his very lucrative job of 13 years to start his own business 5 years ago….He called me up one morning and said today is the day I quit! I said alright let's do this! It was not pretty because we were baaarrroooookeee for the first couple of years he started but the joy of watching my husband live out his life long dream was all I needed to see! SUPPORT is worth everything!
Be faithful to him….don't sleep with another guy is obviously a no brainer but I'm talking about your actions and body language with other guys, guard yourself and bring honor to your husband by not flirting with somebody else's guy….it's gross and no other girl wants you to be around their husband. Save the cute and bouncy for your husband alone!
Be to him what you want him to be to you. Choose to speak words of life into him. Heck, choose to speak words of life into every person you meet and know! It is life changing when you speak words of life into your marriage and everyone around you. It is a choice but so worth it and the return on that investment is priceless!
Laugh with him often and don't take life too seriously.
That's all my advice for today….love the mess out of your husband and watch your marriage grow and who knows….you might not even end up needing those close girl friends in your life to share all your thoughts with, well, don't get crazy…you'll need them too….us girls are a lot to handle and need a few people to walk it all out with!
Spend time with your husband today, pour into him words of life, don't tear him down but rather believe in him and watch how cool your marriage will turn out!
