The heart of the matter….

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Do you even know how many times the Bible speaks about your heart? Over 1200 times in the NIV! That's a lot of time God spends in His Word talking about a man's (or woman's) heart! It is clearly an important topic to him….but it's more than a topic, our heart, determines how we live our lives, who we live our lives around, and who we live our lives for!

I’ve stood on a stage pretty much my entire life for one reason or another...but as I stood on a stage about a month ago ready to do one of my favorite songs (insert laugh from Shelly ;) You Are For Me, truly has a ridiculous amount of meaning in my life these past couple of years. Anyways, as I stood there and we were waiting to start it, music playing in the back round, I looked up through the windows (slightly discouraged, as I have been for sometime now about a couple of things..only a couple because I’m mostly an eternal optimist which is why my husband & sister cannot stand this place I’ve been in for a while on a few topics) and I looked up towards the sky, I said a simple statement under my breath...God this isn’t the best voice but it’s all I have and I give it to you (pathetic, I know, but where I was at in that moment)

...a simple one line response is what I heard back clearly...yes, but it’s not your voice I want it’s your heart I’m after.

Simple line but so true in every area of our lives isn’t it? I can compete or compare (please, we all do it to varying degrees) my life to others around us and how I may or may not come up short but at the end of the day (or beginning if you’re a morning person ;) it comes down to my heart (your heart) and why we do the things we do....what’s our motivation? Is it bringing glory to God…no matter what it is?! Or does it bring glory to ourselves (secretly of course because nobody would admit that they want that out loud)? Doesn’t really matter what somebody else’s job, talent, gift, calling or whatever you want to call it is. All that matters is that I (you) are doing what God created you to do! That may take some time to figure out or it may change mid stream on you like I believe it has for me...but none the less whatever it is you are meant to do, do it with all your heart and do it for God not to please people, not out of pride because you think you are great, not because of false humility and think you are not great...just do it! (great tag line, eh, can you tell I’m a wife of an Ad guy?)

With that all being said, I am way into figuring out people…always have been. I love to see what makes people do the things they do. I learned very early on that people's actions don't always give the full story, so my whole life I've loved to go past people's personas and see what's in their hearts. Sometimes, it's heavy and deep stuff and sometimes it's lighthearted and fun, but none the less I love to listen to everybody's journeys. At times, I have hated that about myself (because sometimes it hurts to know peoples pain) but most of the time I love learning about somebody. My family often tease me about the fact that I could be in an elevator on the first floor and by the top floor I've gotten to know some or all of the people in the elevator and many times a deep painful story from a stranger. People just need somebody to listen…not always give answers but sometimes just a sounding board.

Because of this “talent or whatever you call it” I was told over and over again my entire life to guard my heart because it is the wellspring of life. It took me years and I mean years (actually still learning) of opening my heart to people only to find out that even though I listen to people's pain and journey's, I still have to guard my own heart from being hurt or connected to much to someone or something because God knows what isn't beneficial to my walk or simply isn't a place I'm suppose to be because I have my heart set on something I want and not what God wants. Now looking back that's probably why my parents told me (and maybe not my sisters as much) to guard my heart. It’s why God chooses to speak about our heart so often....it is the connection to our soul and to our walk with God! What our heart is set on will determine our steps in life...so as we set our hearts on Him, we will follow Him closely and listen to His voice and leading and not to anything else. When it is set on other things we will follow those things instead of God...even if they seem like God things! That’s why He’s after our hearts and speaks so many times about our hearts because when He has our heart the rest of our lives follow! Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Col 3:2

This song says it perfectly….

Friends with history

With so many changes going on in my life this year, as I left my bday party I reflected on what are my constants, I went home to sleep…but I couldn't! Anyone that knows me well knows that crowds and parties give me a week supply of energy…which may or may not have caused some hiccups in my life in my early 20's! So I stayed up and looked through all the pictures I took. As I came to this one (and a few others with all of these ladies) I had to smile. These women have been the staple friendships that have defined my entire adult life..through thick and thin..up and down…diets, eating, exercising…babies and more babies…and a few surprise babies..marriage stuff, first day of school stuff, money stuff, moving stuff (houses and churches), deaths and life stuff..here these ladies have been! They know my very best attributes and the very worst and they still love me despite them all!

I love them each for very different reasons, my baby sister for obvious reasons and not so obvious reasons…this chic is a gold mine..you have to dig to get to the center of her but there is no one and I mean no one on the planet you want to have in your life more than her (her wisdom goes way beyond her years and always has) she always maintains a cool head when I'm losing mine and even though we are polar opposite personalities we always come to the same conclusion, we just get to it from different directions! There is not a stronger women of God that I know (well, maybe my mom:) but I love talking to her about the deepest things of God…she challenges me to think outside my box…I cherish that about her!

So, then there is Laine, oh my kindred spirit, this chic gets me and that's hard to do because I had searched my entire life for someone who understands me and our friendship is effortless because somehow we always understand what the other one is going through..I don't have to hide behind an "I'm alright" face, I can say my heart and she won't judge or try to fix…she will just listen. Seriously anything I go through she's like yep I totally get it and she will just say exactly what I'm thinking because we think so much a like! I love her!!

Stephanie…my pee friend…yep that's right! I seriously cannot breathe when we are together (which is not saying much because we both have asthma and have shared inhalers and every other allergy medicine) but through everything we've been through in life she reminds me to laugh..not just smile but full on double over, run to the bathroom I have to pee now, laugh!! Everyone needs a Stephanie in their life! When I get to serious or driven I can always count on her to lighten up the mood by saying something funny or sarcastic! For that matter, all of these ladies in my life are hilarious! I could not imagine going through life serious or not getting humor! It is seriously my coping tool!! Stephanie, I love your humor!! You get me always and never judge! I literally can say anything (and I have ;) around you and you take it in stride! So comfortable to hang out with!

Heather, you may be more driven than I am!! :) This last year and a half of your life would have probably kicked anybody else out of the game but you keep coming back fighting!! You are an amazing women! You always have a positive attitude and that's contagious! Even when life is crazy I see you quoting scripture and living it out! I love you for sometimes speaking things into my life that I can't see…you help me look at things with a different perspective! You too, have heard me say what's on my heart and not judge or fix..thank you!

My sweet Tam! I cannot even express to you how excited I am for you in this season of your life! You are always graceful and always sweet….you are beautiful on the inside and out and I know that the inside is what matters but I love that with you I can admit that maybe the outside matters a little bit too!! lol :) I love how in our friendship, that even when we miss talking for a while, we pick right back up where we left off without skipping a beat! I'm so excited about all the things we get to do this year for you as you get ready to be married! Love you so much!

(My other dear friend with history, Rachel, in S. Africa obviously couldn't come but through the last 15 years of our lives we've laughed, cried and lived life together…I miss her so much but Skype is an amazing tool…this chic constantly inspires me to step out in faith and do all that God calls you too…she is a treasured friend!)

All this mushy stuff to say that life long friendships are so important in life…I have realized in the past few years that even though life, people, relationships are not perfect they are to be cherished because God can pour so much into your life through your closest friends. I love these women and am so thankful for all that they bring to my life! :) I am so thankful that they (well my sister had to) stuck by me through these last couple of years when my emotions were crazy and all over the place, they sat by and didn't leave but encouraged, laughed, cried and talked me through all of it! Thank you girls!