My unexpected fairytale

Tonight 14 years ago my best friend proposed to me and by his definition it took an eternity for me to say yes (it took 30 seconds ;) I remember we were at his house with nobody else around...Jim is not a fanfare person and doesn't like a crowd. The lights were down and the Christmas tree lights were on..he knew that Christmas was seriously my favorite time of the year and this memory was only going to add to the magic of the season. On bended knee, he has always been a hopeless romantic, he proposed. I remember thinking oh my goodness this is happening to me...me! I was never the girl that wanted to get married early, had never thought about my wedding day (mainly because I was always a bridesmaid so I was probably too busy thinking about everyone else's wedding day), and certainly didn't think of myself as the mom type (I hated babysitting...the thought of sitting with a little person on a Saturday night was less than desirable) and I was too much of a free spirit to settle down.

When a lot my girlfriends were racing to the altar and were marrying the first guy to ask, I just enjoyed working and hanging out with friends and traveling. I knew God would bring the perfect guy to me when it was the right time. Now, don't get me wrong, I thought about it...but I was watching some friends marry losers and I thought I would rather be alone then be with a wrong idiot! So, by the time I turned 25 my family was getting nervous, my mom and sister both married at 19 and what was taking me so long? I knew that when I met him I would just know...and shortly after my 25th bday I met Jim and we both just knew...one year later exactly we were married.

So many people questioned my quick decision..they kept saying he was too quiet and how would that work and would say he wasn't my type (which was hilarious to me b/c how did everyone else know my type and I didn't) All I knew was that to me, he wasn't quiet. Reserved? yes...but to me he gave me his heart and he was the most sincere and compassionate person I had ever met and he talked to me and that was all that mattered. I knew he would always love me and always make me laugh and if I ever wanted kids he would make the best daddy ever.

I look at so many troubled marriages that I know and I am so thankful that God put Jim and I together. I enjoy every moment with him. Every step of life, every battle, every victory we walk through together...now he is definitely not the quiet guy I married...he has all sorts of opinions now (he has 3 daughters so that rocked his world at the thought of having to ward off boys so he started having a lot more opinions about all 4 of us!)..he speaks his mind (which I adore) and never waivers...ever...he is as constant in every decision he makes as anyone I have ever known in my life.

So, as we have been together for almost 15 years now I couldn't have asked for a better guy to grow old with...We've grown together, we've changed our ideas together, we've made some good decisions and maybe a few bad decisions together.

I was just talking to my hairdresser yesterday...when she stopped me and said you are one of the only women I have come in here that is still in love with your husband and you've been faithful to each other..and then she asked me my secret. I had to stop and think about what makes us different...is it that we are Christians? Sadly, no because I know way too many Christians and non Christians alike that have a mess of a marriage. I sat for a second and then answered...dedication and commitment..always reinventing ourselves and guarding our marriage (with everything inside of us) from distractions. As, soon as we feel like we don't have something in common we change that and get on the same page...we work at always having a common ground (besides our children...which now I wouldn't trade being a mom for the world...truly my greatest accomplishment to date), we make an effort to constantly communicate...sometimes louder than other times ;) But we always work it out and never let anything put a wedge in our relationship...everything gets talked about.

We work at it...I love when people tell me "oh you don't understand what it's like to have a bad marriage" they are right I dont...but they are usually the same women tearing their husbands down, never speaking words of encouragement into their lives, never believing in their husbands and just being plain out moody! Ladies, your husband wants...no NEEDS to know you believe in him...he needs to know you trust his judgement...it does wonders for them...and in turn as you are pouring into their lives they will adore the mess out of you and so it goes back and forth...just love him don't nag him...he hates it (and if a women were honest with herself she hates the sound of her nagging too!) Love unconditionally and by doing that you will be pleasantly surprised!

All that to say...thank you, God, that you brought James into my life almost 15 years ago now and began a fairytale I never even knew I wanted!