A Change of Seasons

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,  

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8" 

 

And you thought this was just a song your parents listened to in the 60's. 

 

I love how September brings a sense of order to our lives as everyone gets back into their school and work schedules. Life begins to take on its organized form again. For this text book first born girl, as sad as I am to see the warm weather leave, I am always happy to organize our time after the fun filled chaos of summer is gone.

 

With so many changes of seasons going on right now with many people I know, I had to stop and reflect on how seasons change in each of our lives sometimes by choice and sometimes maybe not so much by choice. Schedules are familiar and bring both comfort and predictability.  As a rule, most people like it when our boats don't get rocked.

 

However, even with the fall schedules shaping up familiar, predictable events, there are times in life when your predictable season shifts and changes with or without notice.  Life keeps moving forward but names, places, events, and locations can change.

 

We've gone through our share of shifts and seasons these last 5 years when we thought we had hit our stride in life, planned it all out perfectly and  thought we were just going to go nicely along on auto pilot (funny of God doesn't do cruise control) our scenery, instead, kept changing.

 

Changes started and continued when my husband started his own business, my dad died, my girls changed schools, our church and being a part of worship changed, and now we are moving from our home of almost a decade. One change was a domino effect in several of the other changes.

 

Seemingly every time we've turned around in the last 5 years we were walking through a change and into another season.

 

With each season of activity and change something is seemingly lost (it's not, it is just placed somewhere else), something is gained and something is learned. 

 

When things change it leaves us with a few questions and you are left with a choice to either trust God that He will work it all out or trust something else not as reliable like possibly your emotions. Confidence put into our emotions, our circumstances and situations, or in our seasons will disappoint us.  All those things can and will change but God never changes.

 

This is what my kitchen looks like right now.  A complete mess in disarray with no organization at all to it.

As I stood looking at this mess I had to laugh and think of how this is what I have felt in my life several times in the last few years and maybe you can relate. In the midst of change sometimes our lives feel in disarray much like how my house looks like right now in the midst of packing up.  Everything is placed in the wrong spot, I can't always find what I'm looking for so it seems lost, and everything has to become a mess before there is order to the chaos. I thought of a good life lesson here. In this literal mess and my change of many seasonal "messes", my frame of mind races to figure out how to put everything back the way it was instead of resting in the fact that God knows exactly where everything belongs, where everything is going and will lead me through the chaos, mess, pain (fill in the blank) to where He wants me to be. 


I am gently reminded that in life when you're in the middle of changing seasons, maybe it's not suppose to go back to the way it looked before...it's not suppose to go back to the way it was even though it was familiar. Maybe He truly orders our steps and wants to direct us like His Word says. He does do new things in each of our lives. Maybe in the middle of each change God simply wants to show you His love and faithfulness. Know the fact that He is more than enough for you in each season of life no matter where you've been or where you're headed and believe that there are often seasons He is brings you through to birth the next season of your life.  


My kitchen may look like a mess right now (much like my literal life did in many of my changes of scenery and seasons of the last few years) and maybe when I get to our new house my china and glasses won't be in the same cabinets as they are in now and so it will look a bit different than it did here at this house. But God is here and God is there in that new house too.  He had plans here that served their purpose just like He has plans for our new house too.  Just like He will show you His purpose and a plan in each of your seasons no matter the difficulty level of each change when you follow Him.


Turns out when you move from one season to the next, physical things may be changed or moved around but one thing always remains (did you think I would get through a blog without quoting at least one song? I am chomping at the bit to sing again), God always remains and He so gently teaches us to trust Him in and through every season of activity He has planned for us under the sun.

The Amazing Race

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great end of triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Great quote given to me by a great friend.  There is not a single word I could add to the quote but rather a simple commentary and encouragement to those reading this. 

When you start something. Anything.  If it is something worth fighting for, it will come with a price to pay.  It will cost you the effort you put forth in the fight for it.  Achievements, goals, victory, lives or love are not things dropped in your lap by happenstance....it is a race, a journey a fight we are all in.  Some, acquiesce before they ever realize they are even in this race while others are apathetic towards the fight in effort to not make waves or cause discomfort for themselves or anyone around them. Still others still are fighting from the time they are born in a life long quest searching for something worth fighting for.  Few identify what we, as people, are truly called to fight for. Eternity and lives weighing in the balance.

So many things can steal our attention, our time and our effort in life.  Some things are worthwhile, while other things pull us away from that which is worthwhile....keeping us occupied until we are old and gray and it is not until we look back and realize we had good intentions on fighting the fight all along but never really engaged in any battle worthwhile.  

I encourage you today to find your fight wherever that is, whatever that looks like and for whoever it is for (A hint? God always calls us to other people...building relationships).  Don't look back but rather forge ahead in what you have been called to do. Find what God has called you in advance to do (Eph. 2:10) and run with it. Will it be hard? Maybe.  Will you stumble, fall or make mistakes?  Yes but get back up. (“God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out.” Psalm 30:2 The Message). Will it be comfortable?  Probably not. (2 Corinthians 4:17)  Will it be worth your time and effort? I will let you answer that question for yourself with a rhetorical question of my own....is eternity worth it?  Are other lives and their eternity worth it?

Today, do not pull back because you are too afraid of failure or disappointments (we all fall short and at times fall flat on our faces), get up and keep running the race and set out to do what God placed in your heart to do (Hebrews 12:1, 2 Timothy 4:7, Philippians 3:12-14). Do not pull back because you are unsure of what people will say (people will always have something to say...ignore it unless it is encouragement or constructive Galatians 1:10).  Do not pull back because you are too old or too young (1 Timothy 4:12). Too ethnic or not ethnic enough.  Too smart or not smart enough.  Too rich or too poor. (Acts 10:34). Simply put, get out there and fight the fight.  Run the race marked out specifically and uniquely tailored for you and for the people God, through your life, wants to inspire.  You have been chosen for such a time as this ....don't waste your time on regrets, guilt, fear apathy or excuses but rather spend it on all the lives around you worth getting a little messy for in the light of eternity and for His glory.

Words.

My latest favorite album is Hawk Nelson's More and my absolute favorite song on the album is this song below.  Take a minute to listen to each word in this song…    
(on some devices this isn't showing up so here is the linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaW-bG6y_5A )

Growing up I was the oldest of three girls and it got loud often in our home.  Whenever we would fight or talk down to each other my mom would ask us if we were choosing to speak words of life to each other or words of death?  It is a phrase that has stuck with me my whole life and a question I now ask my three girls.

Our words can build people up or tear people down.  Especially our children.  We can empower them to soar with our words or bring discouragement and self-loathing with our words.  Pleasant words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  My mom would go around the house stating that Proverb.  It became engrained in who we were.  We learned by watching her speak pleasant words to my sisters and I and those around us in our extended family, our friends and neighbors.  In conflict, we saw her choose pleasant words.  In pain, we saw her choose pleasant words.  In everyday conversation with us girls and everyone else, we saw her choose pleasant words.  She was showing us girls how to choose to speak pleasant words in everyday life.  

We were fortunate to have parents who chose to speak words of life consistently into our lives.  Were they perfect? Absolutely not.  Did they have parents who chose to speak words of life into them? Absolutely not. Did they make a choice to change the course of their lives and, by proxy, ours by fighting against the words spoken over them as kids?  Yes. And, yes it is possible for you to overcome those negative words spoken over you and change the course of your children's life and how they view themselves and teach them how to speak to other people.

It is a choice. Always. In everything we do we have a choice to speak words of life to those around us. Our kids. Our spouses. Our friends. Our extended family. Our neighbors and co workers.  We can choose to speak words of life which can encourage others to soar and be all that they were created to be. Or we can stifle others by speaking words of death into their lives by tearing them down and telling them they will never amount to anything good.  Which do you want to hear?  Which will you choose to speak? 

You don't have to listen to those words spoken over you that play on loop in your mind that you are no good, or that you won't amount to anything good, or that you don't have talent, or whatever lies were spoken to you.  You are loved and created in the image of God and He has good things for you and you are beautiful in His eyes.  He knows who He created you to be and the lies spoken to you are not what He has planned for you.

Choose today to not listen to those lies. Choose to make a change and speak the words of life you want to hear and speak those words of life into somebody else's life.

I think these few verses in the book of James sums it up perfectly.

"A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.  

This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on."  James 3:3-12

And like this song says "I don't want to say a word unless it points back to You".  People around you are listening to what you say and how you say it.  If you are professing to be a Christian, hold your tongue and use your words to bring life not tear down. You have an audience whether you want to or not….people are paying attention to how you respond and what you are saying.

You can choose today to control your tongue and speak words of life and not words of death by starting right in your home, with your spouse and kids and the return will be great.  You can empower another life by choosing pleasant words. Why not start now?

Paris or bust. When life changes directions.

I boarded a plane about a year ago with my long awaited ticket in hand to Paris.  I had wanted to go my entire life.  It had been something I had dreamt about, thought about, did projects about, wrote papers about for as long as I could remember.

After a long flight there our plane landed and in a delightful voice the airline attendant said 'hello and welcome to Australia'. 

What? Wait! I didn't buy a ticket to Australia.  My ticket said Paris, France.  There had been a serious mix up and I was upset...beyond upset...I was furious!  I planned a trip to Paris not Australia.  The Louvre and the Eiffel Tower were the first on my list of things to do. Australia had nothing to do with paintings or architecture!

Ever feel like that in life? Have you ever set out in life planning to get to one destination but instead got taken "off course" in another direction?  

As I got off the plane in anticipation of art I've only read about, cute cafes with real beignets and amazing architecture instead I saw the Outback filled with a lot of brown landscape....not exactly the colors Monet, Van Gogh or Rembrandt used...nope just lots of brown.

There I sat a bit puzzled and disillusioned by my "wrong turn" and crazy mix up. As I sat there figuring how to go back, I looked out the window as tears streamed down my cheeks at my change in plans and I saw something on the horizon.  I looked beyond the brown landscape and saw the most gorgeous sunrise I had ever seen in my life. Colors beyond anything I had ever seen on any canvas.  

Had I not taken my "wrong turn" I would have missed the most amazing piece of art I had ever laid eyes on.  I walked outside and began to see things I had never seen before or even knew I wanted to see...as I began to see them I realized this place was way more amazing than I had ever thought it could be.  I began to see things and meet people I would have never met had I went to my originally planned destination of Paris.

All of us in life have our own plans of the places we want to get to, the goals we want to accomplish, the people we want to meet or rub shoulders with but sometimes you think you bought a ticket to one location when God actually has a different landscape in mind for you and your life.

Are you at a point where you find yourself in a different destination than you were planning.  Are you fighting it? Are you upset about it? Are you trying to get back on the plane and go backwards to where you came from? Are you yelling at the airline attendant that there has been a huge mistake and your life wasn't suppose to look like this place you are in right now?

Acceptance is not giving in...it's letting go and letting God have his way with where your life is heading.  Sometimes that involves a change of scenery at a job, a school, a church, a neighborhood.  Stop fighting it and take in the scenery in this new place....God says He orders our steps so chances are you are not in the "wrong place" you are actually right where He wants you to be to use you.  It just might not look like the plan you had but it's the plan He has had this whole time....embrace it and keep following Him....who knows you might see your own beautiful sunrise full of colors you never thought existed until you ended up where you thought you didn't want to go but exactly where you needed to be.

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

 I never really went to Paris (yet) but used it as a story as to how we can plan our lives to go one way when God takes our lives and leads us in an entirely different direction and when you take a moment to look back you realize this was His plan all along.  God's pretty cool like that :)

Come As You Are?

Come as you are.  Such a trendy phrase in the church right now isn't it?  But the question I want to ask you is this, should we stay as we are once we get there?  This has been an honest question I have asked for some time now.

As I sit here and write this blog I think back throughout my life.  I've been a Christian since I was about 9 or 10, so about 30 plus years now (are you calculating the age? I'm 41 :) So quite a while and I've seen the 'trends', if you will, in the church.  I've been in services where we sang 'As the Deer Panteth Forth the Water' and 'Abiding In the Vine' and thought we were on the cutting edge of music. Or when I was traveling the country with a music ministry Ron Kenoly's Lift Him Up was the best worship cd ever (which the name alone always made me want dessert).  As a kid I've sat through all the televangelists, the trials tribulations and mistakes and confessions...I've heard those all.  I lived through the legalistic stages and the name it and claim it stages, the Toronto and Brownsville blessing stages.  I've been in services where people sat for hours in the presence of God in worship or at the altar.  I've seen all the extremes and have learned something from each of them.

So here is my question.  Are you new to the world of Christianity or are you as old as Keith Green's music? (I am and 'Asleep in the Light' is a pretty fitting title for this blog).  This come as you are 'trend' right now (and I'm calling it that for lack of anything better to call it) is the latest phase the church is in.  I mean, I get that anyone and everyone should come and I love all sorts of people (my family is made up of all types) so I see the amazing benefit and calling we have of loving people where they are at in order to show them the love of Christ but I am left wondering if, in this trend, are we forgetting something?

Shouldn't we, when people come through the doors of our churches, be offering them a hope that Jesus will change their life?  I mean, really, isn't that why people are coming to church to begin with...aren't they there searching for a better answer then the one they currently have?  Are we being called to make them more comfortable? In effort to make our churches more culturally relevant and comfortable to all "sinners' (which we all are) have we lost a bit in our translation of being all things to all people? Shouldn't there be a bit more on the act of repentance and not just acceptance...isn't acceptance the thing that has gotten us into trouble to begin with? (Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10).  

I had a very good friend of mine in my early 20's challenge me to quote entire chapters of Scripture back and forth to him to keep each other accountable and the chapter he and I would quote the most would be Romans 6 and my favorite part would be verses 1 & 2  

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?
 
So this blog really doesn't have as many statements in it as much as it has a few questions that I have been asking lately of the American church.

Where are those days when we sat in God's presence for a few hours because we longed for Him to change our lives after we walked through the church doors.  We knew that coming as we were wasn't how we were going to walk out after spending time with Him and asking Him to change us from the inside out.  We didn't need to be impressed with all the programs, lights, eloquent speeches and skits....we didn't need to connect through facebook, twitter or Instagram....we knew we just needed to connect with God and He was going to work it out.  Simple. 

Don't get me wrong, I love all the bells and whistles the church has now (although the irony of the insurmountable amount of Christian/worship music being produced in comparison to the amount of time given to actually worship God in our church services is just that....ironic).  I just want to know if we can incorporate both the fancy things while also hearing a message about repenting and asking God to change us and our hearts.  Can we just realize that we can't 'go on sinning that grace may abound' and that God wants to change us and deliver us and renew us to use our lives for Him...isn't that what being a Christian is all about anyways? The transforming power of Jesus Christ?  To come in my own effort is just that....MY own effort not His.  That isn't going to get me where He wants to lead me.

God I love that you love us and accept us when we come to You as we are but I take greater joy in knowing You have a plan far greater than leaving me in my comfort zone of my own desires. I love how pushing me out of my comforts and desires for Your glory shows me Your ideas are much better than mine...Your ideas have been tried and true so I choose to trust You when You say it's time to change...

Good grief - A tale from the other side

As I sat last night watching the news, the pictures of the 3 people who lost their lives in the Boston Marathon Bombing were flashed up on the screen.  The reporter moved quickly through the story of each name, age and life that was lost.  They moved on to another part of the Boston Marathon bombing story.

I was left though with the pictures in my mind of that sweet 8 year old boy, a 29 year old young lady and a college student from China I think it was.  What hit me wasn't the tragedy (albeit the horror of a senseless crime of evil is beyond description and is indescribable violence) instead what stuck with me was the pain and long long long journey of grief each of these families will be left to walk through and each and every stage, I am all too familiar with, will be left for them to navigate through.  My heart breaks for those families left with the emptiness and brokenness and intense almost physical pain their hearts will carry for a very long time to come.

Every person does grief differently you are told right after a loved one dies.  Usually at the funeral of your loved one is where the advice starts.  Quite honestly you are in such a cloud that really nobody's words matter you are in complete shock with the horror of seeing your loved ones lifeless body in a box up front for all to walk past and talk in front of like it was a Sunday afternoon tea party.  

A friend of mine text me a blog yesterday night as I was watching these lives lost on the news.  I stopped watching and read the blog.  It was about life journey's that we all travel.  The writer of the blog wrote a series of horrible and difficult events she went through and described each immensely difficult stage and then with each stage she learned a new characteristic of who God was to her in her life.  Through cancer He was her peace, through a broken heart from a love He was something else to her and when she was called to a different state for ministry He was something else to her and in every one of those extremely difficult places she knew God was with her and He was going to bring life from the pain she went through...all of this was sad but then she got to the end and began to explain that the last 6 months of her life had been the darkest most difficult times in her entire life and there in her own words she said 6 months ago I lost my dad and this is the darkest place I have ever been in.  I put my ipad down and began to cry...the ugly cry...you know the kind where you can't breath because it hurts so bad to read someone elses pain that describes your own journey.  She described her dad as awesome and that the void in their family was beyond description.  I could relate....I can relate.

Each of us has a life story.  The ups and downs of pain and trials.  Each person in my life would try to relate to me right after my dad died, while I was watching a completely broken widow, with stories of their pain of loss in divorce, disease, the woes of foster parenting,  moves to other jobs & states, loss of their social network....on and on people would share with me the pain of their own stories of loss (perhaps to try and relate to me because I had emotionally checked out of most of my relationships & they were trying to find common ground to connect again). I always wanted to be cognisant of each of their feelings and personal loss.  I would feel their pain with each story but with each time my heart broke for them, my thoughts would softly whisper yes, but your person or pain or trial is still on this planet.  I would never breath that out loud for fear of hurting or offending somebody.  

You see, all loss in life is real and almost tangible....it rocks us to our core and breaks us into a million different pieces and God finds us in the midst of our brokenness and walks us through healing, I get that, I've experienced other losses.  But there written in text of this women's story with every step and every horrible broken part of her journey God met her, showed Himself to her and walked her through but when she came to the loss of her daddy her description of it was 'the very deepest valley and darkest time and trial of her entire life'.  Yes, I get that but could not articulate that to most.  She wrote that and by her doing that freed me up from feeling condemned for thinking this loss was the worst I had experienced in life. 

I have intensely struggled for the last 3 years since my dad went home to be with Jesus with trying to explain my feelings to those still on the happy side of the grief having never experienced the sting of a death...to no avail...their was not a description strong enough with words to say how bad my heart had been broken.  When 6 months, 1 year, 2 years 3 year markers came and went often those without experiencing loss would look at me as if I should be past this by now.  This woman unknowingly gave me permission to reflect on the big losses in my own life and allowed me to "rate" them, too, if you will.

My heart broke when I had a broken engagement to a studying pastor on the east coast when nothing made sense as to why I felt so strong to not marry this man that seemed perfect for my world (thank God I didn't. I needed Jim in my life and God knew that).  My heart broke when a man in my 20's did something without my permission.  My heart broke again when I had my 3rd baby and my c-section went wrong and there I sat paralyzed from the waste down with no medical definition.  In each of those situations I found Jesus to consistently be my source of help, strength, comfort, life and healing....but all of those events pale in comparison to the loss of my dad, my own personal support system....my cheerleader and my biggest fan.  The pain and brokenness was the single most darkest deepest event of my entire life!

But what I, too, have learned is that there is life at the end of pain....there is purpose through the most painful of journeys.  I had a friend that has known me forever ask me why would I start Inspire, did I even ask God if I was suppose to do this because this is taking up a lot of my time.  I sat there and thought, I didn't need to ask God if I was suppose to do this....I knew God was going to do this with my life.  She still hasn't personally experienced the pain from a death that catapults you into a different way of viewing life and God...I needed to start this.  I knew that I wanted to share with other women that God walks us through each life event of pain and brings purpose and hope to your life during and after the intensity of a dark season lifts and you are left with this peace and purpose like no other time in your life to bring Him glory and honor. 

Really, isn't that what we are all here to do anyways?  It just takes some of us a jarring life event to show us the reality of our purpose that comes through the "gift" of pain.....a perspective you can only have from this side of any kind of loss.

My heart and prayers go out to all the families affected by the Boston marathon bombing who are experiencing intense grief, loss, pain and heartbreak....may they too, after a very long road, experience that joy does come in the morning....you just will now forever view life from a different side. I pray that God would make His peace so real to these families in this journey that changes your life forever.

What a man wants

I've been married to probably the coolest guy I know for almost 15 years now and we've been together for 16 years and I've learned a few things about guys.

I will not pretend to understand them completely just as they could never dream of completely understanding us ladies…and that's why great girlfriends are a must have in our lives.  Other girls get our brains and emotions.  I think of 3 girlfriends in my life that I am most thankful for….just for the plain fact that in this last week of my life I've talked with each of them and they understand where I am, where I've been and where I'm headed to! I am so grateful for them when my husband looks at me with his head tilted and says huh?

But most of the time, he gets me, understands me and loves me despite my crazy personality!  Marriage and every relationship takes intentional decisions to stay connected so here it goes….what do guys really want from us girls?  Dinner on the table, clean underwear in their drawer (not in a laundry basket in the corner of the room not folded…don't judge, we've all left the clean basket unfolded longer than we were suppose to), a nicely kept home and perfect abs and great lingerie? Nope, not it, unless your guy is superficial and doesn't care about the deeper stuff! All that stuff is great, but let's be honest ladies….life throws us curve balls and so keeping up with all that stuff, plus kids and holding down a job or career and carting everyone everywhere keeps us treading water and sometimes plain ole makes you feel like we are drowning in an endless supply of chores and to do lists….

All that stuff is the superficial stuff…the mechanics and tedious details of life.  What a guy needs more than anything in this world is your unconditional love and support.  Different guys receive that differently than other guys but at the end of the day the concept is the same no matter how you deliver it.

A guys wants to know you are supporting him 100%.

He needs to know you believe in him and what he is called to do.

He needs you to build him up….not tear him down.  Nagging will only shut him down and you will not get anything from him!  Even if he does do what you are asking him to do, eventually he will resent being told what to do by you!

He wants a girl who is confident and not needy….guys want to know you are strong and you can do it…it is so unappealing to be the weak damsel in distress gal.  He may want that at the beginning but clingy and drama get old after a while and tears up a relationship.

He sometimes wants your undivided attention and time!  Put down what you are doing, tell the kids to run and play (they can entertain themselves) and pay attention to what he is saying to you! Support his dreams and his vision….share with him your dreams and vision….God will connect you both through sharing more than just your list of stuff to do that day…share your heart and listen to his.  Now he will never ever word it like that. "Honey, listen to my heart" probably won't come out of any straight guys mouth but read between the lines when he is sharing with you what he hopes to accomplish in life and then encourage him to do it!  Find something you guys have in common and then do that too!

I remember when my husband called me up to tell me he was quitting his very lucrative job of 13 years to start his own business 5 years ago….He called me up one morning and said today is the day I quit! I said alright let's do this!  It was not pretty because we were baaarrroooookeee for the first couple of years he started but the joy of watching my husband live out his life long dream was all I needed to see! SUPPORT is worth everything!

Be faithful to him….don't sleep with another guy is obviously a no brainer but I'm talking about your actions and body language with other guys, guard yourself and bring honor to your husband by not flirting with somebody else's guy….it's gross and no other girl wants you to be around their husband.  Save the cute and bouncy for your husband alone!

Be to him what you want him to be to you.  Choose to speak words of life into him.  Heck, choose to speak words of life into every person you meet and know! It is life changing when you speak words of life into your marriage and everyone around you.  It is a choice but so worth it and the return on that investment is priceless!

Laugh with him often and don't take life too seriously.

That's all my advice for today….love the mess out of your husband and watch your marriage grow and who knows….you might not even end up needing those close girl friends in your life to share all your thoughts with, well, don't get crazy…you'll need them too….us girls are a lot to handle and need a few people to walk it all out with!

Spend time with your husband today, pour into him words of life, don't tear him down but rather believe in him and watch how cool your marriage will turn out!