How to train a dragon (I'm mean tween-aged daughter)

Quick post this morning as I'm left here in a quiet house laughing to myself. This morning, was our regular routine. I walk through our hallway upstairs singing good morning, good morning, gooood moorrrning...(I know it's weird but it's a true story..I don't mind mornings) to get my girls up and going! Maya pops up first and sings back (my little joy baby) or in a cute little rhaspy voice says hi mama, Brooke hits the ground running...she says hi and starts talking about all of her day, opinions and how to end world peace! Then Emma always takes a few minutes to get moving but I've always called her my morning dove because she is the one who loves the quiet of the morning and slowly waking up (which does not blend well with Brookes vivacious way of viewing the morning by talking out EVERYTHING!)

Anyways, the mornings move rather well and we all manage to make it downstairs and out the door without any hiccups. Except this morning Emma wasn't feelin' it! She kept snapping at her sisters for no reason and at me...by the time we got downstairs I said Emma that's enough it's too early to do crabby and besides we don't do moody in this house! She just looked down and was a little sad. This is completely out of character for her (she would do that when she was 7 or 8 but not anymore). Well, she just turned 12 and I tease her about all those emotions running through her that she herself won't understand and she will just say MOM stop it....that's soooo embarrassing! But I think it's cute!

Anyways, Jim comes downstairs and hears and sees what's going on when (here's the training part) he scoops her up to give her a hug and says I love you Emma in the cheesiest voice he can do to get her to laugh!! We all started laughing..except Emma...so then we all start singing (yes, Jim and I, doing a duet which is hilarious in and of itself) You're never fully dressed without a smile from Annie until she just breaks down and starts laughing! We broke through her tween hormones and got her to laugh!! I remember my mom and dad doing the same thing to us girls until we would just say being moody wasn't worth it and we would begin to laugh! Now, I'm not sure if I'm over simplifying it or if it really good be this easy...but my solution on how to train a tween aged daughter is lots of love, lots of communication and a boat load of laughs along the way....

Keepin' it real

What's the thing most complimented about you? For me it's always an odd thing...my entire life the compliment I hear most ISN'T my great skin (wrinkles and pimples...oh the joys) or my great toned stomach (with 3 kids later...a road map"ish" pound puppy"ish" stomach is what I've got) which I wasn't allowed to show off for the first 25 years and wouldn't WANT to show it off now for the next 25 years now that I could (oh the irony of life)....no it's a compliment that goes something like this...You are one of the most real people I have ever met.

I still slightly taken a back by this comment...mainly because I am never sure if it's a compliment or slam. (A slam maybe because it usually comes on the heels of me saying something unexpected or not correct :) Either way it's intended, I just believe it to be a compliment.

But the comment itself tends to puzzle me and make me slightly sad. It often comes from somebody who has met more "Christians" then they choose to ever know...I never announce to anybody anywhere "hey, I'm a Christian" because I know I'm "real" I'm human and I know I make mistakes but I so desperately want to bring honor to who Jesus is. So, I live out my life in front of people and wait for them to ask me what's different...that's usually when the "you are so real" comment comes..they realize that I am human and I'm not trying to be anybody other then who I am and that is, a redeemed child of God who is not afraid to admit that I don't have all the answers and for sure don't always get it right but I just so happen to know somebody who does! They realize I'm not here to play judge or look down on anybody I just love God and want to share how He can give them peace and hope too, despite our faults, but not pretending we don't have any faults.

But even more than that is when it comes from people who are Christians...it's those times when the people I am surrounded by will say "you are real" ...what does that mean? Think about your own life..who are you most able to be yourself around? I'm not talking about who can you get away with sin with (you should be steering clear of them anyways)...I'm talking about the people you can share your pain, your heart, your joys, and your struggles with and they not look down on you or judge you but encourage you, lift you up, pray for you and keep you accountable or just simply rejoice with you...what a friend to have...a friend you can let your guard down with and TRUST. Not one that you have to act like you have it all together for...what's the point of that friendship...it only brings discouragement to your life because you are not measuring up...guess what? They aren't either...those people builds walls and facades that they themselves can't even live up to! Instead choose a friend or two "to stick closer to than a brother" be real. love. encourage. trust. It's alright to say you don't have it all together...it actually allows others to be free to share their heart and together you can work through life "stuff"!

I just read a blog about just that, people in the church feeling like they have to look perfect...says who? We are treasures in jars of clay..clay....that means we are being worked on all the time..and that's perfectly alright! Let's allow people to be real around us so we know how to pray for each other and not judge each other.

That's the kind of friend I want to be...that's the kind of friend I want...be that friend for somebody today..until the day somebody compliments me on my beautiful (insert sarcasm) skin I'll be keepin' it real with my crazy life...

Amy

Key of Hope Christmas Gifts of Hope Last year we collected over 130 Christmas boxes for aids orphans in Durban South Africa! The looks on these children’s faces were priceless and a true gift of hope indeed! This year we are collecting them again and giving these children a gift that will make a lasting impression on them that they have not been forgotten and that there is a very real God who loves and adores them! We are hoping to send over 200 Christmas bags this year! Please help us reach this goal!! The kids will all be receiving the same kind of gift this year. In order to keep it fair I have supplied a list of the exact gifts Key of Hope has given me that the kids need throughout the year. I realize the list is exact but this will allow all the children to receive the same gift so no one child will feel left out by not getting the same kind of gift as the other children! Thank you for your understanding! You will be able to choose a boy or girl gift bag though. I am so excited to be able to do this again this year for these kids! Please know that as you sow into the lives of these children you are sowing into the eternal Kingdom of God! What an honor to be used in this way! I encourage you to take your children shopping for this too. What a way to get your kids involved in giving during this upcoming season! We are starting this program very early this year in effort to collect as many gift bags as we can. We need to ship all of these gifts by November 15, 2010 to ensure a Christmas delivery! Please go to Key of Hope’s website to learn more about this outreach and how you can get even more involved! It is www.keyofhope.org. Please, forward this on to as many people as you know so we can get everyone involved in this project! This is a great project to do as a family, business, school event!! I will periodically post on my facebook and twitter the number of bags we have collected! Heres the list. I found everything at Target or Walmart for the least expensive price. One plain red 10” long bag. Put all the gifts in with no tissue. Pack of yellow pencils 8 pack 3. Pencil sharpener small plastic .69 cent one - any color 4. Black Bic pack of pens (7 count) 5. Crayola crayon set 24 count 6. Crayola colored pencil set 12 count 1 Large Pink Eraser 1 Elmers glue stick 9. Trial size bar of soap (I found a caress bar for .84 cents) 10. Toothbrush any color adult size 11. Trial size crest toothpaste 12. Small black comb 13. Candy - Blow Pops suckers (a small pack of them) 14. Small pad of paper (4”x3” size that folds the paper up and over) ***Number 15 on the list will be the difference for each bag. Please mark on the front of the bag if you want to send this to a BOY or GIRL and the age. A BOY BAG 15. A small hackie sack type of ball or any kind of small ball A GIRL BAG 15. 1 Lip smackers lip gloss any flavor or chap stick Like last year include a check for $10 made out to me Amy TerMarsch for each bag you send me to cover the shipping and handling costs. Thanks again for helping to make a difference! If you have any questions please email me at amyterm@gmail.com or contact me on facebook or twitter. You can start dropping off your Gifts of Hope as soon as you would like to 17757 Kenai, Macomb, MI 48042. Thank you and be sure to check out their website! Lets make a difference together! Amy

Run the race...

So, I really should be doing my ridiculous amount of homework but I just can't seem to get the focus I need right now and would rather just write then do my sales presentation part 3 million 200 thousand (I'm slightly exaggerating) or study for my algebra/trig exam (which, by the way, it turns out 20 years later my high school teachers really did lie to me...you really don't need algebra for everyday life!)

I'm 4 weeks away from finishing (well almost finishing...I have one more class in the spring) and completing the degree I started four years ago. I sat here on the couch tonight and told Jim I just don't have the focus or energy to complete this and I don't want to put all my energy in this for the next month because I'm tired...but then as soon as I said that I quickly said out loud...Nope, I can do this...just a little more time and my payoff is near! When I think about that and running the "race" my mind jumps to the obvious verse....I have fought the fight I have finished the race. It's what my sisters and I were raised always being told (fight the good fight run the race), it's what is on my dad's grave stone, it's what Jim and I live by and what we teach our girls. This is an action...not something that just happens...it's an action verb.

I look back over the last 4 years of my life and think, wow, has my life changed dramatically. Never in my craziest thoughts did I think I would have to take a year and a half off from school to grieve the loss of a parent, or that my husband would quit an awesome job to begin his own ad agency in a crazy economy but I think, no, I know that with God all things are possible and it is possible to run the race in the midst of storms! I was reading this week about the Israelites being brought out of Egypt and something struck me as odd...I've read the story a million times but this time I read something I had never seen. The Israelites were walking before they got to the red sea and they were complaining to Moses, they said WE didn't want to leave Egypt Moses you brought us out here it wasn't our choice. We know the rest of the story, that they just wandered around the desert for years and complained even though God showed Himself to them over and over and OVER again. And it hit me, they were walking a walk that they said they didn't choose so therefore they complained...and I applied that to our modern day world. Everyone knows somebody in the "church" who complains about everything and it occurred to me that if you, me, anyone who calls themselves a Christian does not make it their own choice, they will constantly be complaining because their heart is not in it, whereas, if it is YOUR choice to pursue God and love and serve Him, even though life can and will be hard, you know that you are running a race for a reason and that because you love Him all you can think about is your life glorifying Him alone.

Have you ever been in a situation where you thought, hey, I didn't choose this situation?? I know I have! About 6 months after my dad passed away I hit a brick wall and was an absolute mess. I didn't share it with anyone because I knew I just needed to step back and re assess what I was doing and as I sat there I remembered the day my dad died, in the morning I had my girls conferences and I knew I would go to the hospital after I talked with their teachers. As I pulled into the school I looked down and saw that my diamond had fallen out of my wedding ring, I've never taken my ring off, never lost it and definitely had never lost a diamond. I just sat in the car and thought, yeah, I could really have gone without that happening today...he died that night and as I looked down at him I remembered I had lost my diamond...banner bad day I thought! Two days later (after Jim searched the entire house and car for it he couldn't find it) it was the morning of his funeral and I got out of the shower and walked over to where I always pray in my bedroom...I collapsed on the floor, face to the ground just crying out to God for strength and as I wiped the tears from eyes right in front of my eyes, exactly where I kneel to always pray was the diamond to my ring..and I just felt God say "Amy, kneeling before me right here will be the only way you are going to get through this next year." I thought that was weird because that would be an obvious thing to do....it wasn't though... through the grief I didn't take time to pray because I was in a situation I didn't choose!

Everyone kept saying that I would just have to live with this sadness and I would just get used to it! That always infuriated me because my whole life I was a glass half full kind of person and now my glass was not only not full but it had been picked up and thrown against a wall and I didn't want to "get used to" being so sad...so for 6 months I didn't kneel or choose to ask for His help to run this crazy race I was thrown into....until a friend said Amy your life doesn't stop here...you keep going and instead of thinking everything is done begin to think about all the things God is going to use you to do and when you get to Heaven then you can tell your dad everything. It was at that point those few words encouraged me to get up and begin running the race again and making a choice to walk even when I was in a situation I didn't choose...even though I found myself in a difficult time I could still choose God! It literally changed the way I looked at my situation! I didn't learn to live with the sadness I let God use it to grow and eventually there was joy again.

So, here I am ready to complete my degree and it's so cool to see how God just works everything out in our lives if we allow Him! I get to be a designer which is something I've always wanted to do and I get to sing almost every Sunday which is the other thing I love to do and I count it all a privilege to have an amazing husband and awesome kids and be able to pour my life into so many things while hoping to bring glory to God through everything I do on this race...and all the while collecting quite a list to share with my dad when I get home...

Check Mate..

When I was a kid around 7 or 8 my dad taught me how to play the game chess. Now looking back and having girls that age I think it was kind of a young age to learn such a difficult game but as I would play he would beat me at the game over and over again. He would tell me he wasn't going to let me win and I had to earn a win on my own. If you know anything about the game it requires at every turn for the players to think ahead several moves at a time..always having a game plan in place and knowing what your next moves will be til the end...whoever has the better game plan in their mind gets to say "check mate" at the end and wins. Because I was so competitive I wanted to play him every few nights until I could say check mate to him...it took me years..literally I was that unrelenting. I remember the day I finally had all the right moves in my head and I told him check mate...probably at around 10 or 11 years old it happened I got up out of the chair and started screaming (because that's what girls do) and yelling check mate, check mate, check mate dad! I beat you and you didn't let me win! I was so excited and thrilled that I conquered the game and beat him on my own without him helping me!

So, as I fast forward through this life of mine and from time to time review in my mind what turns my life journey have taken me on and think about where I am going I realized that at a young age I was taught a life lesson by my dad (whether he intended it or not). Two things really.

The first is, in my life, my mind always and I mean ALWAYS is thinking a few moves ahead. My mind always plays out everything...if this happens in life then I'll do this, if this person says this to me (in every conversation..whether easy convos or difficult) than I'll say that. My mind has played out life like a chess game. My. Whole. Life. Always looking down the road for the next "move". So, I guess I could make the argument that this wasn't the result of a silly game I played as a kid but rather the way God designed my brain to think. But, like with everything else in life a healthy perspective is needed. Yes, I can plan my "moves" but the Bible says that even though we plan our lives it is HIM and Him alone that determines our steps! Looking back over my life, your life (if anyone is reading this) and if you have been a Christian for any length of time you can see the hand of God on your life. I know I can! Over and over again I make a plan and God, at times, seems to derail it to bring purpose and glory to Him through my life...often times in ways I would have never planned or chosen! Yet, it truly works out for His good purpose like the Bible says. At times, it is difficult for me to let go of my agenda and let God have His way with my life but over and over and over again as I submit (which that isn't my favorite word) to Him and His ideas there is a fulfillment when I know I am walking in God's perfect plan for my life and I see Him working all the details out!

The second thing that game taught me is that I have never wanted anybody to go easy on me and let me "win". I push myself constantly to excel in everything and I expect everyone else to be painfully honest with me if they are giving me advice. I consider true friendships to be honest...not mean because there IS a difference..but honestly at times give constructive criticism. I was raised by an ex marine dad and a mom who never minced words...always done in love but they always let me know when I was off in anything resulting in me not being an over sensitive typical girl but rather somebody who wanted to know the truth about myself. I married Jim for that reason too. He is always honest and will tell me if I need to change something and I love that because who wants to stay the same?? We should all be striving to be growing in God and allowing Him to challenge us and stretch us!

Where it can become a problem is when I can't let it go and even if somebody, anybody, says that I am doing something good enough I don't believe them...I think I have to excel more or fix more or achieve more! And to that type of personality God tells you and I to rest and know that He alone is God and has got the plan and that striving for excellence (albeit good at times) can be damaging to your morale and your spirit when taken to the extreme and can cause you to just want to give up if you feel that you are not measuring up to a goal that you made up in your own mind. So, I am learning to stop sometimes, not push, not strive but just listen for the next step without trying to run ahead but just wait for God to give me direction by asking Him to encourage my heart and not expecting anyone else to do this because it is God alone who knows the plans He has for me and for you.

So, be free to allow God to plan your steps and give you direction! His map and His way of playing this "game" we call life is filled with peace and for our good and His glory!

The Backpack Give Back....A huge Success!

The Backpack Giveback was a huge success!! Thank you everyone who participated! Underprivileged kids from all over received a backpack! Including The Refuge Youth/Runaway Assistance, Turning Point Women's Shelter and Washington Elementary

in Mt. Clemens! 76 backpacks in all collected for these kids!

Hi everybody!

If you've signed up to give a backpack please drop it off to The Well 46000 N. Gratiot, Chesterfield, MI, 48051, by Friday August 26th or contact me to meet you to collect them from you!

So far we have 55 backpacks collected and wanted to get at least 70! We are giving them to some kids in Chesterfield, Mt. Clemens Washington Elementary and Turning Point Women's shelter.

There's still time...please consider donating to help these kids!

If you've already donated thank you so much for helping!!

Amy