Over the last 5 years my tolerance for complaining has gotten down to about 0. I distance myself from people who have a habit of complaining about every little detail honestly because I feel like complaining can be contagious and I don't want to be a part of it because it is easy to slip into. I chalk my growing lack of tolerance up to going through a tragedy and through that, my perspective began to change and my tolerance for complaining waned.
I remember being a kid and would cry about something silly and my parents would say Amy, stop crying otherwise I will give you something good to cry about! What does that phrase even mean? I don't know. What were they going to give me to cry about? I never found out because I quit crying until I had something to cry about almost 5 years ago.
Out of that experience I now have a limited amount of tolerance for complaining. Obviously talking through difficult life things is different than complaining and is extremely necessary and needed to walk through life's difficult seasons but complaining is entirely different than talking through loss, death, divorce, affairs, sickness, financial troubles. The list of tough stuff people go through is long. Constant complaining is staying in the state of discontentment & dissatisfaction. Perspective in your situation, however, is what changes the outcome (or at the very least your mindset) of what you are talking about. Complaining, however, about it does not change a thing...in fact it can make it worse.
Phillipians 4 lays it out the right perspective for us. How to be content in all things. That doesn't mean we have to love what we are going through. It doesn't mean we should be fake about it or not confront what we are going through. It doesn't mean we shouldn't admit that we need help. We should do all those things but Paul does teach us how to go through everything as we are going through it. He tells us to rejoice in the Lord. To be thankful in all things. Thankful that we know God is with us and working all things for our good all the time. He teaches us to think on good things and not dwell on our complaints. He teaches us to lift our sights higher than what we see at the moment.
There was a 4 year season in our marriage where every single familiar "community" we had roots down in had been changed, uprooted or moved to another place. I hated. every. single. moment. I still am not fond of all the changes. A couple of years ago I went through an intensely lonely period of time due to all the changes and uprooting. All the changes (I hope) have passed and I still sit at a place where I don't have a great answer to how wonderful the change was. I don't have an answer that it was for a better sense of community and deeper relationships at all the new places God moved me to. It hasn't been an easy or clean answer wrapped perfectly with a happy ending bow (at least not yet). However, God is teaching me that sometimes He takes us through things to bring us closer to Him. Sometimes our perspective gets challenged a bit in order to see if we will complain or just surrender to Him and say, I don't get it but I am walking with you anyways and I trust that you have a bigger plan than I can see.
My perspective began to shift as God was speaking to me through every change I went through and through every lonely moment I felt. I wanted to throw my hands up and complain about the 'injustice' & discomfort of every change. Howevery, my new perspective began to allow me to ask a few hard questions of each change. Maybe I wasn't meant to be known in every circle I walked into anymore. Maybe I wasn't suppose to be comfortable in walking up to a group of friends who know me well in every place I walked into. Maybe God was keeping me from 'familiar' because He was doing something bigger than I could see or can see right now.
Jesus called Peter out of the boat to walk across water to Himself (Matt 14) all by himself. Peter wasn't walking with a bunch of friends. He was alone walking across the water to Jesus. The winds started blowing and Peter panicked, started to sink and cried out to Jesus and Jesus immediately reached out to Peter and caught him.
Peter was walking alone and knew nobody else could do what Jesus did for him. Jesus alone could meet Peter and catch him. Sometimes in our familiar groups of friends we unknowingly think they are the ones that can help us. Walk with us. Give us answers that maybe God alone has the answers to. Sometimes Jesus asks us to leave our familiar "boat" to walk outside our comforts and follow Him. Not complain but rather change our perspective and simply run to Him.
Don't get me wrong I love being in a nice comfortable, familiar group of friends who have known me forever and know everything about me just as much as the next girl. However, I am finding the longer I walk with God, He often gets us alone with Him to direct our steps better and through that allows us to hear His voice more clearly. He calls us to walk alone sometimes without all the comforts of a familiar scenery. No particular group in my life is familiar anymore and I'm learning to trust that God knows that and has a reason for it.
As I re read Phillipians 4 I am reminded about our perspective in every season of life. No matter what season you are in, no matter what you are going through, it might very well be that Jesus is calling you outside the boat to spend time with Him so He can be the one that leads and directs you. Through that experience our perspective can be like Paul when he says
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I
know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I
have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
Through the whole chapter he repeatedly reveals the answer to how he learned to be content in every situation. He teaches us to change our perspective. Rejoice in the Lord, give thanksgiving, be content. He gives a list of things to think on like Truth, whatever is noble, pure, right, excellent trustworthy (among many other things) in order to be able to do all things through Christ. In other words, in all things, shift your perspective from complaining to thinking, trusting and walking with Jesus (with or without your group of people) and then you will be able to do all things that Christ has called you to.
God may I always be able to trust that you are working all things for my good and that my perspective is always towards you instead of what my eyes see in the natural which can lead me to a complaining and discontent heart. Keep my perspective on you at all times and in all things. Amen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, August 18, 2014
Parenting - Top 10 List of Do's and Don'ts
We are now in late summer and it is flying by quick. That's just crazy! My oldest just started drivers ed & as we prepare for this next school year I'm still in denial that I am a parent of two junior highers and a high schooler. How does life go this incredibly and ridiculously fast? I know I sound old saying that...but really, time flies.
In honor of standing at the precipice of a new school year, I wanted to make a top 10 list of parenting lessons my husband and I have learned along the way. With the knowledge that every day we walk further into the world of teenager'dom', we realize we seriously do not have all the answers but here are a few of the tried and trues we are holding on to....are you ready?
1. Learn. The first thing I learned is that I had a lot to learn. I remember the first night we brought home, Emma, our oldest daughter and, as she laid there wide awake in my arms at 3am in the morning, (as if it were 3 o'clock in the afternoon instead). I remember whispering to her, Emma, I am so not equip for this whole parenting thing. How did I get myself into this? I seriously did not know what I was doing. Not a clue. Fourteen and three quarter years later, we still don't know everything but what we have learned is that we keep on learning. Learning each of their personalities. Learning how to be better parents. Learning how to grow as a family. We are still learning...often.
2. Time. We don't have a list of magical formulas that will answer every parenting question but what we do have are a couple of lessons learned. I've learned that each day is important. Each moment is important. Each opportunity spent with them is important. You can't get those moments back. So, seize every moment. The texts can wait. The calls can wait. So can the laundry, dishes, vaccum lines and dusting (it will all be there tomorrow anyway). The friends can wait (unless, of course, you're all together with the kids and can exchange some tears, laughs and coffee). All those things can wait. Time does not. Not for anyone. Take time to spend with each kid you have. You won't regret it....and neither will they.
3. Be present. We all know when someone we are talking to isn't listening. It's annoying and frustrating. Kids know that, too. They know when you are not present or engaged in a conversation. They know this from a very young age. My middle daughter when she was around 2 would put her sweet little hands one on each cheek of mine and say talk to my eyes, mama. She needed me present in her conversation. It was important to her. It still is. This is a lesson I have to remind myself often. I get caught up in the busy"ness" of the day & have to remind myself to stop & be present.
4. Listen. Ok, I guess that would be a no brainer if you are looking in their eyes as they are talking to you but seriously you can even zone out while you are looking straight at them. Let's be honest, we all have a billion and one things on our 'to do' list and our minds can race through everything that needs to be done but if you don't prove to them at a little age that you want to listen and communicate then they will eventually stop talking to you & find someone else to talk to. That can prove to be dangerous as they get into junior high. Because, even though listening to the "how Barbie has purple shoes on with her orange skirt and wants your opinion on that outfit" isn't that interesting at 3 years old, you can bet your life on the fact that at 13 you will want to be able to give your opinion about an outfit or two then...and they won't be Barbie's.
5. Ask questions. Keep asking questions. Engage and keep the lines open to asking & answering any and all questions. They will love that dialogue when they are 5 and 6 but not so much by the time they are 13 or 14. Keep asking them anyways. It shows them you are interested in their lives and what is going on. They may not say that they like it (and may actually even say they don't) but they do. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel important. It makes them know you love them enough to ask them about their life.
6. Give your opinions. All. The. Time. You are the parent. Don't forget that. You pay the bills. You have the right to speak into their lives, provide direction, teach them boundries, show how consequences work. As I got older into my teens years, there were times I wanted to go do something I knew would be stupid or wrong and I swear I could hear my mom and dad's voice in my head giving their opinions. It stopped me from doing a lot of dumb stuff....more times than I can count.
7. Don't be afraid to hug your kids. Kiss their little faces from the time they are born til the time they leave for college and return again. There is never too much affection. Especially girls. I've written blogs about this before about daddy's and their daughters. Don't shy away from hugging your tween and teen daughter. If you are not giving a hug or a kiss on the forehead to show them proper affection, they will crave it. They will seek it and they will find it. And generally the boys that are willing to give attention and affection to your affection starved girl is not looking for just a hug or a kiss on the forehead. Dad's, your roll plays such a huge part in giving your daughter a healthy perspective on how she should be treated by a guy. What she receives (or doesn't receive) from you will dictate what she feels she deserves from other guys. You are important. Parents (of both sons and daughters), constantly reinforce to them that they have value and worth in God.
Teach them that their value isn't caught up in whether or not some guy or girl is paying attention to them that day. Or if they can get a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teach them that their true value and worth rests in the fact that they are a child of God made for a purpose to bring Him glory.
8. Laugh. Play games. Interact. Have fun. Make an environment where they can relax & have a blast. Not because you want to be their friends (remember you are the parent) but because you want an environment where they will want to bring their friends around. That's good. You want to see their friends and who they are hanging out with. You can speak into their lives better when you see who they are hanging around with. Don't turn a blind eye to the kind of friends they are hanging with. My dad used to say to my sisters and I...if you lie with the dogs you'll get flees. We had a pool so all the kids were always over. My parents got to see real quick the type of girls I was becoming friends with and they nicely gave their opinions about many of my them. Often. Until I could start choosing my friends wisely for myself. I have to be honest with this one though...that took a while. Be patient.
9. Stop complaining about everything. Really. Just stop. It's annoying and exhausting to hear moms complain and yell constantly. It's annoying to their spouses and kids, too. If you know this is something you struggle with, if you were honest with yourself, you're probably sick of your own voice complaining, too. Then you turn around and get mad at your kids for arguing, yelling and complaining. Where did they learn that from? Like the old adage goes if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all. Seriously. Silence is golden and so much better than the broken record complaining about the same things year after year. It's old and your kids are watching and learning that habit, too. He who holds is tongue is wise so, hold it.
10. Don't gossip. Don't play the victim. Let it go & don't hold grudges. Forgive and show mercy. (I guess that's six topics in one). Teach them to be aware that so many people are going through things and sometimes react to their own situations and may unknowingly or sometimes knowingly hurt people in their process. Allow your kids to understand that most everything people or friends do is not to intentionally hurt them. My parents would tell us girls that the world does not revolve around us & most likely the things friends do is not to intentionally hurt me. Give people the benefit of the doubt. That lesson was invaluable. Don't teach your kids to hold a grudge. Forgive & give 2nd chances. Thank God, He doesn't give us only one opportunity to get it right. I would have been out of the game 41 years ago if that were the case. Obviously, use wisdom in friendships and steer clear of toxic relationships but if a good friend makes a mistake, forgive and accept them where they are at in the moment & teach your kids to be aware of where their friends are at in life, too. Turns out my parents were right…the world really doesn't revolve around me or you so let things go and know it's not about you. Sometimes there is a bigger picture going on.
11. Be real. Be honest and learn how to apologize. We all make mistakes and by humbly saying sorry to your kids it teaches them such a huge lesson. They will understand that nobody is perfect (parents included) and that it is okay to admit to not having it all together all the time. It gives them room to come to you when they make their own mistakes and gives you the opportunity to walk them through it in a Godly way instead of trying to hide it from you and figure out a different way out of a mistake.
12. Teach them about God by living it in your home when nobody but your family is watching. Teaching them doesn't mean sending them to youth group, Christian school or another great family you know. None of those things will teach them if they see hypocrisy at home. Live out your faith in plain site in front of them to learn from. I didn't say it will be perfect. It won't be...none of us are but they will see a sincere pursuit of who God is in your life and that will profoundly affect them (even if that doesn't seem to show for a while). All your rules for them without a relationship is futile if they don't see you living with the conviction you are telling them to have. Kids have a crazy way of just knowing if you are living what you profess to believe or not.
13. Be people of conviction and integrity. Kids know what that is and they see whether you have it or not. Don't cheat on things because you think nobody outside the home knows. The more important group is inside your home and they are watching and learning.
14. Love them. Love them. Love them. Tell them you love them often. Show them you love them daily. Simply said but profoundly impactful.
Ok, so I went over my limit, I gave you my 14 things on my list (maybe one for each year of our parenting) but this list is not all inclusive. We are still learning each day and there are so many other things I could add. Maybe I will another time. Happy parenting. Don't ever forget they are gifts that God gave you to raise. Don't ever take that responsibility too lightly. You are raising world changers!
Amy Elizabeth
Be Inspired
In honor of standing at the precipice of a new school year, I wanted to make a top 10 list of parenting lessons my husband and I have learned along the way. With the knowledge that every day we walk further into the world of teenager'dom', we realize we seriously do not have all the answers but here are a few of the tried and trues we are holding on to....are you ready?
1. Learn. The first thing I learned is that I had a lot to learn. I remember the first night we brought home, Emma, our oldest daughter and, as she laid there wide awake in my arms at 3am in the morning, (as if it were 3 o'clock in the afternoon instead). I remember whispering to her, Emma, I am so not equip for this whole parenting thing. How did I get myself into this? I seriously did not know what I was doing. Not a clue. Fourteen and three quarter years later, we still don't know everything but what we have learned is that we keep on learning. Learning each of their personalities. Learning how to be better parents. Learning how to grow as a family. We are still learning...often.
2. Time. We don't have a list of magical formulas that will answer every parenting question but what we do have are a couple of lessons learned. I've learned that each day is important. Each moment is important. Each opportunity spent with them is important. You can't get those moments back. So, seize every moment. The texts can wait. The calls can wait. So can the laundry, dishes, vaccum lines and dusting (it will all be there tomorrow anyway). The friends can wait (unless, of course, you're all together with the kids and can exchange some tears, laughs and coffee). All those things can wait. Time does not. Not for anyone. Take time to spend with each kid you have. You won't regret it....and neither will they.
3. Be present. We all know when someone we are talking to isn't listening. It's annoying and frustrating. Kids know that, too. They know when you are not present or engaged in a conversation. They know this from a very young age. My middle daughter when she was around 2 would put her sweet little hands one on each cheek of mine and say talk to my eyes, mama. She needed me present in her conversation. It was important to her. It still is. This is a lesson I have to remind myself often. I get caught up in the busy"ness" of the day & have to remind myself to stop & be present.
4. Listen. Ok, I guess that would be a no brainer if you are looking in their eyes as they are talking to you but seriously you can even zone out while you are looking straight at them. Let's be honest, we all have a billion and one things on our 'to do' list and our minds can race through everything that needs to be done but if you don't prove to them at a little age that you want to listen and communicate then they will eventually stop talking to you & find someone else to talk to. That can prove to be dangerous as they get into junior high. Because, even though listening to the "how Barbie has purple shoes on with her orange skirt and wants your opinion on that outfit" isn't that interesting at 3 years old, you can bet your life on the fact that at 13 you will want to be able to give your opinion about an outfit or two then...and they won't be Barbie's.
5. Ask questions. Keep asking questions. Engage and keep the lines open to asking & answering any and all questions. They will love that dialogue when they are 5 and 6 but not so much by the time they are 13 or 14. Keep asking them anyways. It shows them you are interested in their lives and what is going on. They may not say that they like it (and may actually even say they don't) but they do. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel important. It makes them know you love them enough to ask them about their life.
6. Give your opinions. All. The. Time. You are the parent. Don't forget that. You pay the bills. You have the right to speak into their lives, provide direction, teach them boundries, show how consequences work. As I got older into my teens years, there were times I wanted to go do something I knew would be stupid or wrong and I swear I could hear my mom and dad's voice in my head giving their opinions. It stopped me from doing a lot of dumb stuff....more times than I can count.
7. Don't be afraid to hug your kids. Kiss their little faces from the time they are born til the time they leave for college and return again. There is never too much affection. Especially girls. I've written blogs about this before about daddy's and their daughters. Don't shy away from hugging your tween and teen daughter. If you are not giving a hug or a kiss on the forehead to show them proper affection, they will crave it. They will seek it and they will find it. And generally the boys that are willing to give attention and affection to your affection starved girl is not looking for just a hug or a kiss on the forehead. Dad's, your roll plays such a huge part in giving your daughter a healthy perspective on how she should be treated by a guy. What she receives (or doesn't receive) from you will dictate what she feels she deserves from other guys. You are important. Parents (of both sons and daughters), constantly reinforce to them that they have value and worth in God.
Teach them that their value isn't caught up in whether or not some guy or girl is paying attention to them that day. Or if they can get a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teach them that their true value and worth rests in the fact that they are a child of God made for a purpose to bring Him glory.
8. Laugh. Play games. Interact. Have fun. Make an environment where they can relax & have a blast. Not because you want to be their friends (remember you are the parent) but because you want an environment where they will want to bring their friends around. That's good. You want to see their friends and who they are hanging out with. You can speak into their lives better when you see who they are hanging around with. Don't turn a blind eye to the kind of friends they are hanging with. My dad used to say to my sisters and I...if you lie with the dogs you'll get flees. We had a pool so all the kids were always over. My parents got to see real quick the type of girls I was becoming friends with and they nicely gave their opinions about many of my them. Often. Until I could start choosing my friends wisely for myself. I have to be honest with this one though...that took a while. Be patient.
9. Stop complaining about everything. Really. Just stop. It's annoying and exhausting to hear moms complain and yell constantly. It's annoying to their spouses and kids, too. If you know this is something you struggle with, if you were honest with yourself, you're probably sick of your own voice complaining, too. Then you turn around and get mad at your kids for arguing, yelling and complaining. Where did they learn that from? Like the old adage goes if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all. Seriously. Silence is golden and so much better than the broken record complaining about the same things year after year. It's old and your kids are watching and learning that habit, too. He who holds is tongue is wise so, hold it.
10. Don't gossip. Don't play the victim. Let it go & don't hold grudges. Forgive and show mercy. (I guess that's six topics in one). Teach them to be aware that so many people are going through things and sometimes react to their own situations and may unknowingly or sometimes knowingly hurt people in their process. Allow your kids to understand that most everything people or friends do is not to intentionally hurt them. My parents would tell us girls that the world does not revolve around us & most likely the things friends do is not to intentionally hurt me. Give people the benefit of the doubt. That lesson was invaluable. Don't teach your kids to hold a grudge. Forgive & give 2nd chances. Thank God, He doesn't give us only one opportunity to get it right. I would have been out of the game 41 years ago if that were the case. Obviously, use wisdom in friendships and steer clear of toxic relationships but if a good friend makes a mistake, forgive and accept them where they are at in the moment & teach your kids to be aware of where their friends are at in life, too. Turns out my parents were right…the world really doesn't revolve around me or you so let things go and know it's not about you. Sometimes there is a bigger picture going on.
11. Be real. Be honest and learn how to apologize. We all make mistakes and by humbly saying sorry to your kids it teaches them such a huge lesson. They will understand that nobody is perfect (parents included) and that it is okay to admit to not having it all together all the time. It gives them room to come to you when they make their own mistakes and gives you the opportunity to walk them through it in a Godly way instead of trying to hide it from you and figure out a different way out of a mistake.
12. Teach them about God by living it in your home when nobody but your family is watching. Teaching them doesn't mean sending them to youth group, Christian school or another great family you know. None of those things will teach them if they see hypocrisy at home. Live out your faith in plain site in front of them to learn from. I didn't say it will be perfect. It won't be...none of us are but they will see a sincere pursuit of who God is in your life and that will profoundly affect them (even if that doesn't seem to show for a while). All your rules for them without a relationship is futile if they don't see you living with the conviction you are telling them to have. Kids have a crazy way of just knowing if you are living what you profess to believe or not.
13. Be people of conviction and integrity. Kids know what that is and they see whether you have it or not. Don't cheat on things because you think nobody outside the home knows. The more important group is inside your home and they are watching and learning.
14. Love them. Love them. Love them. Tell them you love them often. Show them you love them daily. Simply said but profoundly impactful.
Ok, so I went over my limit, I gave you my 14 things on my list (maybe one for each year of our parenting) but this list is not all inclusive. We are still learning each day and there are so many other things I could add. Maybe I will another time. Happy parenting. Don't ever forget they are gifts that God gave you to raise. Don't ever take that responsibility too lightly. You are raising world changers!
Amy Elizabeth
Be Inspired
Sunday, July 13, 2014
What's Your Story? - The Value of a Life.
In the last year and a half of my life I have had the privilege of meeting an insane amount of ladies since our Inspire launch last year in March.
With meeting all these different women and girls I began to see a theme woven through each of our ministry events, meetings and opportunities to serve the community around us. The theme? Every single one of us has a story. A story that pushes us, motivates us, drives us to pursue or do something more in this life. To give back.
I had to smile when I began to realize that through Inspire the gift God has most given to me has been people and awesome friendships. Friends who have spoken into my life, come along side of me, shared with me their lives & journey's. I am overcome with gratitude for this gift. I have learned through so many of them and am continuing to learn now how to share my life and story with others.
After this last Inspire event I felt more confident than ever that I was sharing exactly what I felt was the heart of God on rest & beauty in our lives. As I spoke about resting in what God can do in our lives and who God created us to be, God allowed me to actually speak from that place of rest in Him. He wants to speak and work through each of our lives and stories. There is such freedom in knowing that God can bring His beauty from all of our brokenness and pain and then use it in other lives.
That night as we highlighted several stories, I began to realize that there is something so indescribably powerful about each of our stories and the way we connect to people through what we go through. When we submit our lives and stories to the One who created us He will use the trials, the failures, the pain, the loss and ultimately the victory we have to connect and help other people. When we connect our lives to the stories of restored people & redeemed lives we are given that same God given hope that God can and will work all things out for His good.
With that being said, my heart is to publicly show each story we showed that night plus few more we have in our back pockets. My hope is that through these quick glimpses into a few friends journey's that you will see yourself and the realness of lives. We pray that you will experience hope in each short synopsis from their walk. My prayer is that possibly their tirals but more importantly their victory will speak volumes to you as you see first hand how God's hand was on them and His story and was written all throughout their lives.
Watch as you see how God takes what the devil intends for evil and uses it for His glory and good over and over again. He continues to speak through these ladies lives to inspire others to rise up and allow God to use their story to help others receive hope that God truly works all things out for His glory. Be encouraged that God's desire is the same for you...He has purpose for your life and wants to work through your story too.
So, take a moment to encourage your heart, connect with a few of these stories and be inspired to heal and walk in all that God calls you to today.
Our first story is from Erin Rohling, an absolute dear friend & inspiration. This clip just scratches the surface of her story but listen and let God speak to your heart. She and her husband, Paul pastor a growing church in Marlette, Mi called Hope Community Christian Church. http://www.hopeccchurch.org/
If you have a story of how you have overcome something, how God used it and would like to be featured in our Inspire. What's Your Story? summer video series, please email me and we can talk. My email is amyterm@gmail.com
Be Inspired!
Amy
With meeting all these different women and girls I began to see a theme woven through each of our ministry events, meetings and opportunities to serve the community around us. The theme? Every single one of us has a story. A story that pushes us, motivates us, drives us to pursue or do something more in this life. To give back.
I had to smile when I began to realize that through Inspire the gift God has most given to me has been people and awesome friendships. Friends who have spoken into my life, come along side of me, shared with me their lives & journey's. I am overcome with gratitude for this gift. I have learned through so many of them and am continuing to learn now how to share my life and story with others.
After this last Inspire event I felt more confident than ever that I was sharing exactly what I felt was the heart of God on rest & beauty in our lives. As I spoke about resting in what God can do in our lives and who God created us to be, God allowed me to actually speak from that place of rest in Him. He wants to speak and work through each of our lives and stories. There is such freedom in knowing that God can bring His beauty from all of our brokenness and pain and then use it in other lives.
With that being said, my heart is to publicly show each story we showed that night plus few more we have in our back pockets. My hope is that through these quick glimpses into a few friends journey's that you will see yourself and the realness of lives. We pray that you will experience hope in each short synopsis from their walk. My prayer is that possibly their tirals but more importantly their victory will speak volumes to you as you see first hand how God's hand was on them and His story and was written all throughout their lives.
Watch as you see how God takes what the devil intends for evil and uses it for His glory and good over and over again. He continues to speak through these ladies lives to inspire others to rise up and allow God to use their story to help others receive hope that God truly works all things out for His glory. Be encouraged that God's desire is the same for you...He has purpose for your life and wants to work through your story too.
So, take a moment to encourage your heart, connect with a few of these stories and be inspired to heal and walk in all that God calls you to today.
Our first story is from Erin Rohling, an absolute dear friend & inspiration. This clip just scratches the surface of her story but listen and let God speak to your heart. She and her husband, Paul pastor a growing church in Marlette, Mi called Hope Community Christian Church. http://www.hopeccchurch.org/
If you have a story of how you have overcome something, how God used it and would like to be featured in our Inspire. What's Your Story? summer video series, please email me and we can talk. My email is amyterm@gmail.com
Be Inspired!
Amy
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Resting Beauty
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17
I'm not one for resting, sitting, napping or sleeping in. If I get too tired I think something is wrong and then my husband quickly reminds me that I've been running in a million different directions for too long so should sit and take a break.
I used to think that resting meant a time out, like I had been bad or was being punished for not doing something perfect. I thought if I rested that meant I was useless and wasn't contributing to society or community or anything.
It's only been in the last couple of years that God has shown me otherwise. Resting is so much more than being stationary or sedentary or a taking a break from something (although there are seasons of physical rest too). Over the course of the last couple of years God has shown me His definition of beauty and it comes from resting in who He is in our lives and what He is wanting to do through our lives and who we are in Him. It doesn't necessarily have to mean we physically sit and rest.
When we stop striving for our idea of perfection, or other people's approval or appreciation, when we stop trying to be the whole show or center stage that is when we can rest in who God is. We rest in what He is doing and we simply get to give our lives to Him and play a part in His story.
It really takes the pressure off of performing and striving to get it "right" all the time. Isn't that way too much pressure anyways? Trying to be right all the time? It's exhausting to feel like we have to have all the answers, fix every situation and get everything to fit into our idea of perfection. Sure, we are to do everything in excellence but when that becomes our idol and goal we have really missed the point of serving God because He is good. We are doing it because we want to be good and get the credit instead of giving credit to Him because He is good.
It is so much easier to rest and know that He is God and He has it and we don't need to worry about how He will work it all out. We can trust that His Word says He will work it all out, He does go ahead of us and He will direct our every step. There is so much more peace, rest and confidence when we listen to Him and decide to walk in His ways without trying to do it on our own.
So today trust and rest. Know that His beauty will be on you as He works in and through you to accomplish His work (because, honestly, it never really was ours to begin with)!
I'm not one for resting, sitting, napping or sleeping in. If I get too tired I think something is wrong and then my husband quickly reminds me that I've been running in a million different directions for too long so should sit and take a break.
I used to think that resting meant a time out, like I had been bad or was being punished for not doing something perfect. I thought if I rested that meant I was useless and wasn't contributing to society or community or anything.
It's only been in the last couple of years that God has shown me otherwise. Resting is so much more than being stationary or sedentary or a taking a break from something (although there are seasons of physical rest too). Over the course of the last couple of years God has shown me His definition of beauty and it comes from resting in who He is in our lives and what He is wanting to do through our lives and who we are in Him. It doesn't necessarily have to mean we physically sit and rest.
When we stop striving for our idea of perfection, or other people's approval or appreciation, when we stop trying to be the whole show or center stage that is when we can rest in who God is. We rest in what He is doing and we simply get to give our lives to Him and play a part in His story.
It really takes the pressure off of performing and striving to get it "right" all the time. Isn't that way too much pressure anyways? Trying to be right all the time? It's exhausting to feel like we have to have all the answers, fix every situation and get everything to fit into our idea of perfection. Sure, we are to do everything in excellence but when that becomes our idol and goal we have really missed the point of serving God because He is good. We are doing it because we want to be good and get the credit instead of giving credit to Him because He is good.
It is so much easier to rest and know that He is God and He has it and we don't need to worry about how He will work it all out. We can trust that His Word says He will work it all out, He does go ahead of us and He will direct our every step. There is so much more peace, rest and confidence when we listen to Him and decide to walk in His ways without trying to do it on our own.
So today trust and rest. Know that His beauty will be on you as He works in and through you to accomplish His work (because, honestly, it never really was ours to begin with)!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Comfort Received. Comfort Given.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This verse was given to me a few years back smack dab in the middle of my chaotic grief-filled life. My heart was silenced at the power of those words. I knew at that moment that I may not have had all the reasons as to why my dad died but I did have the purpose I was to take up after the grief had lifted.
This morning I sit here, saddened by the fact that, yet, another one of my friends have begun their journey in grief this past weekend. She lost her daddy. My heart broke as I spoke with her. It broke because of the pain in her voice that I was all to familiar with, it broke because I know the journey she is now on but did not choose to take and it broke because, in an instant, I could put myself back to that very second I lost my daddy, and the pain that was indescribable yet so very tangible.
I vowed to myself the moment I received that Bible verse several years ago that I would be the one that did exactly what that verse said to do. Quite honestly people failed miserably (other than a very small few) but God did not fail me. Ever. His comfort and Words were perfect. He comforted me so I could comfort somebody else. I will share that concept for the rest of my life.
Time & grief have passed. The God of all comfort comforted me so that my heart would be opened to show that same comfort I received to anyone I get the opportunity to talk to. I realize now that often times people who have not gone through that pain do not know what to say or do....and that is alright. However, because I have been comforted, I want to show comfort. It is only God that can truly heal a broken heart. My prayer is simply that He would use me as a catalyst to share even just a small fraction of that comfort with a friend. God will take it from there and heal. It is only God that can bring peace to a broken heart. It is only God that can restore and mend. I just get to point my friends to Him.
Today my friend begins her journey and my heart hurts for her but I know that the God of all comfort will comfort her just like He comforted me and anyone else that begins this unexpected journey.
This verse was given to me a few years back smack dab in the middle of my chaotic grief-filled life. My heart was silenced at the power of those words. I knew at that moment that I may not have had all the reasons as to why my dad died but I did have the purpose I was to take up after the grief had lifted.
This morning I sit here, saddened by the fact that, yet, another one of my friends have begun their journey in grief this past weekend. She lost her daddy. My heart broke as I spoke with her. It broke because of the pain in her voice that I was all to familiar with, it broke because I know the journey she is now on but did not choose to take and it broke because, in an instant, I could put myself back to that very second I lost my daddy, and the pain that was indescribable yet so very tangible.
I vowed to myself the moment I received that Bible verse several years ago that I would be the one that did exactly what that verse said to do. Quite honestly people failed miserably (other than a very small few) but God did not fail me. Ever. His comfort and Words were perfect. He comforted me so I could comfort somebody else. I will share that concept for the rest of my life.
Time & grief have passed. The God of all comfort comforted me so that my heart would be opened to show that same comfort I received to anyone I get the opportunity to talk to. I realize now that often times people who have not gone through that pain do not know what to say or do....and that is alright. However, because I have been comforted, I want to show comfort. It is only God that can truly heal a broken heart. My prayer is simply that He would use me as a catalyst to share even just a small fraction of that comfort with a friend. God will take it from there and heal. It is only God that can bring peace to a broken heart. It is only God that can restore and mend. I just get to point my friends to Him.
Today my friend begins her journey and my heart hurts for her but I know that the God of all comfort will comfort her just like He comforted me and anyone else that begins this unexpected journey.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Lessons from the Life of David - Worship is More than a Song.
As I've been studying the life of David, I think the thing that has stood out to me the most was that he was a worshiper and a warrior. That would seem like a disconnect to most but when you begin to study his life you realize those two things were very much interwoven into the fabric of his personality and calling. Even during the times he wasn't playing his harp but rather fighting instead, he was still writing songs (psalms). His heart for worship defined his life even during the times of battle. As worshipers we, too, are fighting battles in worship. Battles are fought and won while worshiping God. That time spent with God (whether in a corporate or personal time) bears a lot of weight to Him and accomplishes so much. Through worship God can bring healing, peace, joy, breakthrough and answers. He calls us to worship Him so many times throughout His Word. When we are sad. We are to worship. When we are happy. We worship. When we are afraid. Worship. There are battles fought and won and in His presence. So, we are worshipers and warriors too.
God has always spoken to me through songs and I hope He always will. A couple of years ago I stepped away from leading worship not knowing if I would ever do it again. It felt like another sort of death. When I stepped down, quite honestly I was heartbroken for many many months over that decision I needed to make. Eventually I stopped crying about it and started asking God why I needed to lay that down. I took a year and pulled back from everyone to seek God, clear my head and focused on Him.
Throughout the last couple of years my prayer has been constantly that I would learn how to trust Him and worship Him when nobody saw me up front leading worship. I wanted to know how to worship Him even when I didn't have a microphone in front of me or even when singing wasn't public.
As I have been studying the life of David I began to see David's heart for worship written in the pages throughout each season of his life. There was a long time between when he was anointed & promised to be king and actually taking his seat as king and yet, through it all, he was worshiping and writing songs and had a heart after God in every season.
My sister sent me this song Clear the Stage a while back and it honestly seems as though this man wrote the last couple years of my life in a song. Go ahead & listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6smGew7dGto
There is a line in the song that says "You can sing all you want to and still get it wrong because worship is more than a song. We must not worship something that is not even worth it. Clear the stage for the one that deserves it. Anything I put before my God is an idol. Anything I want more than God is an idol." That means anything.
The are times you need to take a step back and check that your heart is doing something for the right reasons. You can, at times, become so consumed by doing something really awesome that you lose sight of who you are doing it for. When the singing, music, performing, working, parenting, leading ministries (or whatever you are doing) takes the place of God you need to stop and evaluate some things. Albeit great things but if it takes the place of God than it is an idol. Doing things for God is not necessarily what worship is.
In the last couple of years God has spoken to me about what worship really is. Worship is not necessarily music. Worship is not always the song or the lights, or the people. It isn't your calling or the show or even the feeling. Worship is something you do with your life. It is giving everything you are to everything He is because He is worthy of all our worship. I still have an undeniable passion for worship and the music and I have started singing again but I know that the object of this passion is not the music but for God whether I am singing it or living it....worshiping God should be a lifestyle not a song set.
It is laying anything and everything down so He gets the glory in every area of life. It is a heart resting and trusting in His goodness and faithfulness. It is a heart pursuing Him and walking in your gifts and callings because He is good not because you are good.
Do you have something in your life that is your calling or passion & seems like this amazing thing but tends to consume you and has become your idol? Pray like David "Create in my a clean heart, oh God. Renew a right spirit within in me". David knew he was anointed to be king very early in life but his journey was long before he took that place. In all his ups and downs, failures and victories, David continued to live a life given to worship and sought the Lord for direction constantly. He was a man after God's own heart in everything he did and sang about in his life.
We are to worship God at all times and in all things with our lives not just our songs. Even if that means we do not have a microphone in front of us. I would actually argue that we can worship Him best when there are no microphones in front of us, no audience, no show. Just you, Him and your heart & life given to God in complete surrender and worship. That is a life of worship.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Lesson's from David's Life - Free from Control
Ok, so if you have been in the church any longer than a second then you know the next story by heart (or at least can paraphrase it).
1 Samuel 24. Saul has been searching for David to kill him. Saul finds himself in a cave relieving himself not realizing that David was even further back in the cave. David does not seize the opportunity to kill Saul but instead cuts off a corner of his cloak. Later walks outside to tell Saul, hey, just so you know I could have killed you in that cave but I didn't…and here is proof with a piece of your cloak. David, in doing the right thing by not killing him, caused Saul to have great remorse (for the moment) and asked that God would bless David greatly. David couldn't control Saul's feelings rather David's actions set the stage for Saul to feel that remorse. Saul had to choose that for himself (and honestly David risked Saul not responding positively but choose not to kill him anyway).
I am the oldest of 3 girls with one of my sisters having a learning disability. My entire childhood I heard, Amy, take care of your sisters, make sure Lisa is alright, watch out for her, make sure nobody teases her, make sure she gets on the bus. Watch that Sara crosses the road to Victoria's alright. Call her home, start the bath for her when she was a toddler (she is 6 years younger than me), feed them, get the bandaids and take care of her scrape…on and on it goes. I loved being in charge.
Now married with 3 of my own girls. As a mom it is engrained to make sure you take care of everything for your young kids until they can do it on their own. I could write down that very long to do list on caring for them but I do not have enough space….you get the idea. After my dad died I felt this innate responsibility as the oldest to take care of things and make sure everything was alright (now looking back I have to laugh at the ridiculous thought of trying to make death alright). Control.
As the oldest it is often your responsibility growing up to be in control of any and all the situations. It is engrained in you from your earliest memories to make sure everything is alright. Your parents call on you to take care of your siblings. Parenting, for a first born, is a natural transition because you still get to be bossy and control people and stuff. Then you begin to realize you take that into every situation you come into contact with. Your natural bent is to control and take care of situations (which, in and of itself, can be very helpful because you are deemed trustworthy and able to be counted on) but there comes a point that you realize that you are not in control of everyone else's outcomes and life. You cannot control their actions like you were raised to think you could.
At that point you have a decision to make. You can decide to get frustrated that people are not doing it like you want them to or you can let it go and realize that everyone has their own responsibility to make their own choices and decisions. Freeing really, when the reality that you are not responsible for anybody's choices, decisions and outcomes..only God is. Obviously, you can still help, give advice and opinions and work with people but ultimately people will have to make their own choices for their own lives and you cannot do that for them.
Here Saul is hunting David down to kill him and when given the opportunity to seize the day and take out his opponent, David doesn't go for it. He is only responsible for himself and not how Saul is responding. David is not responsible for Saul's irrational drive to kill him. David cannot control what Saul does or tries to do. When given the chance to kill Saul, David knew he couldn't control Saul's emotions and response. He could only control his and that is what he did. He choose to forgo the opportunity to kill the king even though he had the chance. He knew he was only responsible for what he did and not responsible for what Saul was going to do.
Liberating really when you think of it. You are not responsible for anyone else's actions…neither good or bad. When you spend your whole life making sure everyone is alright you begin to feel like it is your responsibility to make everyone's circumstance work out when in all actuality, God is responsible for outcomes and people are responsible for their own actions. It is not your job to get people to do what you think they should. You are only responsible for your life and choices and let God deal with everyone else.
1 Samuel 24. Saul has been searching for David to kill him. Saul finds himself in a cave relieving himself not realizing that David was even further back in the cave. David does not seize the opportunity to kill Saul but instead cuts off a corner of his cloak. Later walks outside to tell Saul, hey, just so you know I could have killed you in that cave but I didn't…and here is proof with a piece of your cloak. David, in doing the right thing by not killing him, caused Saul to have great remorse (for the moment) and asked that God would bless David greatly. David couldn't control Saul's feelings rather David's actions set the stage for Saul to feel that remorse. Saul had to choose that for himself (and honestly David risked Saul not responding positively but choose not to kill him anyway).
I am the oldest of 3 girls with one of my sisters having a learning disability. My entire childhood I heard, Amy, take care of your sisters, make sure Lisa is alright, watch out for her, make sure nobody teases her, make sure she gets on the bus. Watch that Sara crosses the road to Victoria's alright. Call her home, start the bath for her when she was a toddler (she is 6 years younger than me), feed them, get the bandaids and take care of her scrape…on and on it goes. I loved being in charge.
Now married with 3 of my own girls. As a mom it is engrained to make sure you take care of everything for your young kids until they can do it on their own. I could write down that very long to do list on caring for them but I do not have enough space….you get the idea. After my dad died I felt this innate responsibility as the oldest to take care of things and make sure everything was alright (now looking back I have to laugh at the ridiculous thought of trying to make death alright). Control.
As the oldest it is often your responsibility growing up to be in control of any and all the situations. It is engrained in you from your earliest memories to make sure everything is alright. Your parents call on you to take care of your siblings. Parenting, for a first born, is a natural transition because you still get to be bossy and control people and stuff. Then you begin to realize you take that into every situation you come into contact with. Your natural bent is to control and take care of situations (which, in and of itself, can be very helpful because you are deemed trustworthy and able to be counted on) but there comes a point that you realize that you are not in control of everyone else's outcomes and life. You cannot control their actions like you were raised to think you could.
At that point you have a decision to make. You can decide to get frustrated that people are not doing it like you want them to or you can let it go and realize that everyone has their own responsibility to make their own choices and decisions. Freeing really, when the reality that you are not responsible for anybody's choices, decisions and outcomes..only God is. Obviously, you can still help, give advice and opinions and work with people but ultimately people will have to make their own choices for their own lives and you cannot do that for them.
Here Saul is hunting David down to kill him and when given the opportunity to seize the day and take out his opponent, David doesn't go for it. He is only responsible for himself and not how Saul is responding. David is not responsible for Saul's irrational drive to kill him. David cannot control what Saul does or tries to do. When given the chance to kill Saul, David knew he couldn't control Saul's emotions and response. He could only control his and that is what he did. He choose to forgo the opportunity to kill the king even though he had the chance. He knew he was only responsible for what he did and not responsible for what Saul was going to do.
Liberating really when you think of it. You are not responsible for anyone else's actions…neither good or bad. When you spend your whole life making sure everyone is alright you begin to feel like it is your responsibility to make everyone's circumstance work out when in all actuality, God is responsible for outcomes and people are responsible for their own actions. It is not your job to get people to do what you think they should. You are only responsible for your life and choices and let God deal with everyone else.
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