This year I have been focusing on the life of David. Not necessarily by choice but honestly because his story has came up everywhere I turn for the last couple of months. I finally have caught on that God is speaking to me this year through David's life. As I learn a few things I will share them as I go along….mostly short blogs to journal what I am learning (so I'm not sure how much it will help anyone as much as it helps me but still feel like I want to share).
Among several things I've learned so far (I will blog those later) the thing that stuck out to me today is in 1 Samuel 22:22 "Then David said to Abiathar, That day, when Doeg the Edomite was there, I knew he would be sure to tell Saul…. (stop, he knew Doeg was going to tell Saul but talked anyways)…. I am responsible for the death of your whole family." Saul had Doeg the Edomite, (because he was so mad at what Doeg had told him about David earlier in that chapter), kill 85 priests, the town of the priests with its men & women, children and infants and its cattle, donkeys and sheep.
Now, I am not a Bible scholar but it seems as though David feels responsible for all these deaths because of what was said in front of Doeg the Edomite and then Doeg went and told Saul which in turn really angered Saul and he then reacted by killing all these priests (let's be honest though…Saul was a ticking time bomb and really didn't need a valid reason to kill anyone…he had some serious anger & jealousy issues & so seized the opportunity to kill with information given to him. Nonetheless, David felt responsible).
Ok. Quick lesson learned? I do not like girl drama or gossip…never have, never will. Because of that fact I generally am very cautious on who I trust. I was raised to not listen or react to gossip or drama. I am married to a man who can see those types of girls from miles away and will quickly let me know when he spots those traits in anyone. With that being said, I am very intentional about not joining in or adding to those types of conversations and do not make close friendships with them ever. Mainly because I figure if someone is talking to me about somebody else than chances are I'm not that special…they are talking to someone else about me and therefore cannot be trusted so I make a note in mind to never share anything personal with them. Sometimes, however, I make mistakes.
My caveat to the story...I had a friend last year tell me that year 3 in loss was going to be the hardest. I remember thinking…no I don't buy that. I was really hoping that statement wasn't true. Now looking back, I think my guard was down in a few areas because, yes, year 3, I really still was inadvertently working through loss stuff & because I was focused on that I was unable to discern some other things (which I could & will write a blog about how the enemy will really try to distract and ruin you in your weakest times…he truly works overtime during the times you are down the most). Don't let him get a foothold!
Anyways, with that being said, I had an acquaintance who I've only known a few years tell me something about a big situation that was not hers to talk about (and that I, quite honestly, did not even want to be a part of). When she told me the "facts' it didn't seem true at the time and I should have ignored what she said but I was so focused on other areas of my life that I didn't have the time or emotional energy to discern that what she was telling me was untrue...not excusing my behavior, just giving a fact now that I can look back with clarity. I let my guard down, believed her lie that was simply stirring the pot and when I normally walk away from those times, instead, I joined in and added my very unnecessary two cents….it spiraled…I thought I was angry (now I realize I was probably more hurt than angry at the thought of not being included in something ironically enough, I didn't want to be included in to begin with). I still allowed this girls words to stir me up, not think clearly and then over reacted to information that I learned later was false after the damage I did was done. Embarrassing to even admit in a blog but maybe my lesson learned will help somebody else.
I impulsively reacted to gossip and, in turn, really yelled and got mad at someone who did not deserve it! I have never ever in all my life stooped down to a level where I just lost it, yelled at someone and had no filter and said things that were beyond hurtful (all because Doeg the Edomite came and told me about a situation that was not hers to talk about). I have consistently in life made decisions to walk away from things and not let somebody else's foolish words stir me up enough to hurt somebody else like that ever…but I messed up.
After I read that section in 1 Samuel this morning, God quietly spoke to my heart about that situation that I had forgotten details of & have moved past from with lessons learned….but this morning I can see mistakes made last year here on the pages of Samuel. I have sent a card and texts saying sorry. I have asked for forgiveness but still my heart hurts because I hate how I got caught up in foolish gossip listening to untrue comments & reacted by hurting someone else.
Now obviously, unlike Saul, there were not priests or women or children killed but words are so powerful and can give life or death. I am such a huge proponent on how our words affect people and the enemy used what I always preached, against me and I sadly fell for it.
I learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned that I let my guard down and listened to somebody like Doeg the Edomite and I reacted, in turn, like Saul I choose to hurt instead of walk away and not react. I know maybe this is a stretch but that is the lesson I am taking away from this chapter.
When somebody comes and tells you something they heard that is gossip and seems wrong, don't listen, don't react. Better yet stop them if it is gossip and information that does not belong to you. Walk away. You never want to react and "kill' someone with words because you foolishly let your guard down long enough to entertain the rants of a gossip only to be responsible for "killing some priests" with your reaction.
I learned that lesson last year…but here I see how God's word speaks to us and confirms the way we are to live and not live in so many ways. Just listen (unless it is a gossip…than don't listen and just walk away…it can save a life).
"A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." Proverbs 16:28
"Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down" Proverbs 26:20
Monday, March 3, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
The Tale of Two Leaders.
A tale of two leaders.
There once was a young lady beginning her career. She was hired as an intern at a large, successful architectural firm with world wide recognition in design. She interned in a department where she had two very different bosses. The first boss she worked with for the first part of each week. This boss was demonstrative and demeaning and often so demanding and condescending it left her a bit nervous to work with him. She felt inadequate in each project she did with him. She often felt there was not a project she did well enough for him. Most of the time she questioned her talent and intelligence while working by his side. He questioned her work constantly and left her wondering if she was ever going to learn all she needed in order to be hired there full time. This boss talked about himself and his accomplishments constantly all while putting others down and questioning everyone's abilities and competence at the office. She was well aware of his great accomplishments and often felt unworthy and not good enough to be there. She often stood by watching him complete her projects because he didn't think she would complete it to his liking or he would just stand over her shoulder while she worked to make sure she completed the job to his liking. He would often times go back and re do projects to his liking. In his presence she was keenly aware of his abilities and her lack of abilities…it was seemingly clear, his talent and experience were both far greater than hers.
The second boss she interned with the second half of each week. This boss had a much different style. He often asked for her opinion on each project they worked on. He would ask her how to do the projects and often seemed like he knew much less than her because he asked constantly for her opinion for each job. She would leave each day thinking…I am so much smarter than this man and much more competent and talented because he won't even do these projects but rather hands them off to me. She would often think why is he even working beside me if he is having me do all the work? She thought his questions and encouragement for her to complete the projects was due to his lack of ability and flat out laziness. She would get frustrated because many times, as she interned with this boss, she would make mistakes that he wouldn't catch or even seem to care about. As the weeks went into months, she pushed herself to read up more on each project and not wait for him to help but just do it herself until she began to make fewer mistakes. She started to get excited for what she had been learning, no thanks to him. He was often distant and just handed projects off to her and said please complete this project and turn it in to me next week and would then disappear for the rest of the day.
After her 3 month internship was completed she was called in to the president's office for a review with the 2 bosses she had worked alongside of for the past 3 months. She was hoping to get a great review from both men and would be offered her dream job. She was so excited to meet the president of this widely successful architectural firm. It would be such an honor and accomplishment.
She walked in and sat down next to her first boss (the overpowering, arrogant and demonstrative man). The very sight of him made her so nervous wondering what kind of review he would give her, considering every project they had worked on together, he would undo and harshly critique. She thought he would surely judge her work much harsher than her other boss because she was seemingly so un talented and inept throughout her internship with him. She couldn't reconcile how she could doubt her ability so much with him but be so confident and accomplish so much in the second part of each week with her other boss.
She found it very odd that there were only 2 chairs for them to sit on. Her chair and her intimidating boss's chair both in front of the president's desk. Why was there not another chair for her other boss? She laughed to herself at the thought that he probably got fired for being such a horrible and incompetent boss and not teaching as much as he was suppose to her but expecting her to work on all the projects and learn from her own mistakes. Serves him right, she thought, for being so lazy. As she sat next to the other man she thought, I hope one day I can know as much as him and accomplish as much as he has accomplished.
The two of them sat quietly waiting for the second boss and president to get to the meeting. They both sat there looking forward in this top floor presidents office that took up the entire 78th floor of this beautiful skyscraper building. They looked at the huge presidential style desk up against the backdrop of New York City through the wall of windows. The view was breathtaking. It was taking a while and she was getting more and more nervous at the thought of the review.
The second boss walked in a few minutes late (of course he's late, she thought). As she turned around she told him there are only 2 chairs but go ahead and pull up a chair from the other side of the room and come sit up here by the desk. He humbly smiled and said no thank you I will sit over here….as he walked past her and sat down on the chair behind the presidents desk.
Perplexed by his behavior. She said what? What are you doing? He smiled and said she had done such an amazing job in the last 3 months of her internship. He was very impressed with her ability to problem solve, complete projects, work with others on the team and with her talent. She sat there with her jaw dropped. She was interning this entire time for the president of this enormous firm and he never mentioned that one time? He said what he loved the most was the fact that when he gave her a project she took the time to learn how to do it and complete it. He said she was so driven to do it well and that showed her ability and character. He added that he loved when he asked her questions she was so focused on getting the answers by working even harder. He said he knew she could do it and she proved that he was right and was glad he gave her so much to do.
Tears began to well up in her eyes…all those times he asked her questions wasn't because he didn't know the answer…it was because he did know the answer but wanted her to either find the answer herself or trust that she already knew the answer and had to implement it herself instead of second guessing what she already knew. He didn't want her to depend on her first boss to come in and tell her what she did wrong & redo it. He was encouraging her to step out and gain confidence in her ability instead of comparing herself to another person's work.
She was overwhelmed at the very clear fact now that she had been interviewing for the president for the last 3 months. He took the time to believe in her, encourage her and trusted that she knew what she was doing. She was humbled at the thought of his leadership and how he never bragged about his very obvious accomplishments as the president of this multi million dollar company. He took time to encourage and believe in some girl intern he didn't even know! She felt guilt for thinking he was, at times, incompetent and lazy and now realized that he was intentionally giving her projects to train her for the job he knew laid ahead for her. He wanted her to believe in what she had hoped was true about herself….she did have talent.
He turned to her and said you are hired. Through her glassy eyes she said thank you but for what position. He turned to her first boss and said….you are hired for his position. She gasped. His position? Why? He said, because of his arrogance and project over site, I have lost more money than I care to admit. The morale on his floor has been shattered because everyone on his team feels inadequate and inferior to him. They never feel good enough to work on his projects and he re did most of their work only to present it to several of our clients completely wrong and it cost us money….but more importantly he has cost us our reputation with a clients because of his arrogant attitude.
You see, his words, are far more competent than his ability and he consistently wanted everyone to know how great he was. That is not the kind of leadership I want for my company. In order to build a company and a successful team, you need to get your employees to believe in their own God given abilities and talent & not try to mimic a person whose ability they think they need. Each person on my team needs to work on the job they are suppose to do instead of all doing the same job as some arrogant guy who thinks everyone should do it like him. I want a team not a dictator. And a team has many different jobs all working towards the same goal.
She left that day with a very powerful life lesson. Leadership comes in all sorts of styles and walking in humility, may very well give you the keys to a way bigger job than you ever knew you were interviewing for.
She learned that day to be careful as to how you treat people. Value them and their God given abilities. Be the kind of leader who encourages and inspires people to walk in all that God calls them to instead of intimidating them into what you want them to do. Each of us has different gifts and callings so be humble because who knows, God may be preparing you to lead something you never even imagined God could call you to lead!
Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10
There once was a young lady beginning her career. She was hired as an intern at a large, successful architectural firm with world wide recognition in design. She interned in a department where she had two very different bosses. The first boss she worked with for the first part of each week. This boss was demonstrative and demeaning and often so demanding and condescending it left her a bit nervous to work with him. She felt inadequate in each project she did with him. She often felt there was not a project she did well enough for him. Most of the time she questioned her talent and intelligence while working by his side. He questioned her work constantly and left her wondering if she was ever going to learn all she needed in order to be hired there full time. This boss talked about himself and his accomplishments constantly all while putting others down and questioning everyone's abilities and competence at the office. She was well aware of his great accomplishments and often felt unworthy and not good enough to be there. She often stood by watching him complete her projects because he didn't think she would complete it to his liking or he would just stand over her shoulder while she worked to make sure she completed the job to his liking. He would often times go back and re do projects to his liking. In his presence she was keenly aware of his abilities and her lack of abilities…it was seemingly clear, his talent and experience were both far greater than hers.
The second boss she interned with the second half of each week. This boss had a much different style. He often asked for her opinion on each project they worked on. He would ask her how to do the projects and often seemed like he knew much less than her because he asked constantly for her opinion for each job. She would leave each day thinking…I am so much smarter than this man and much more competent and talented because he won't even do these projects but rather hands them off to me. She would often think why is he even working beside me if he is having me do all the work? She thought his questions and encouragement for her to complete the projects was due to his lack of ability and flat out laziness. She would get frustrated because many times, as she interned with this boss, she would make mistakes that he wouldn't catch or even seem to care about. As the weeks went into months, she pushed herself to read up more on each project and not wait for him to help but just do it herself until she began to make fewer mistakes. She started to get excited for what she had been learning, no thanks to him. He was often distant and just handed projects off to her and said please complete this project and turn it in to me next week and would then disappear for the rest of the day.
After her 3 month internship was completed she was called in to the president's office for a review with the 2 bosses she had worked alongside of for the past 3 months. She was hoping to get a great review from both men and would be offered her dream job. She was so excited to meet the president of this widely successful architectural firm. It would be such an honor and accomplishment.
She walked in and sat down next to her first boss (the overpowering, arrogant and demonstrative man). The very sight of him made her so nervous wondering what kind of review he would give her, considering every project they had worked on together, he would undo and harshly critique. She thought he would surely judge her work much harsher than her other boss because she was seemingly so un talented and inept throughout her internship with him. She couldn't reconcile how she could doubt her ability so much with him but be so confident and accomplish so much in the second part of each week with her other boss.
She found it very odd that there were only 2 chairs for them to sit on. Her chair and her intimidating boss's chair both in front of the president's desk. Why was there not another chair for her other boss? She laughed to herself at the thought that he probably got fired for being such a horrible and incompetent boss and not teaching as much as he was suppose to her but expecting her to work on all the projects and learn from her own mistakes. Serves him right, she thought, for being so lazy. As she sat next to the other man she thought, I hope one day I can know as much as him and accomplish as much as he has accomplished.
The two of them sat quietly waiting for the second boss and president to get to the meeting. They both sat there looking forward in this top floor presidents office that took up the entire 78th floor of this beautiful skyscraper building. They looked at the huge presidential style desk up against the backdrop of New York City through the wall of windows. The view was breathtaking. It was taking a while and she was getting more and more nervous at the thought of the review.
The second boss walked in a few minutes late (of course he's late, she thought). As she turned around she told him there are only 2 chairs but go ahead and pull up a chair from the other side of the room and come sit up here by the desk. He humbly smiled and said no thank you I will sit over here….as he walked past her and sat down on the chair behind the presidents desk.
Perplexed by his behavior. She said what? What are you doing? He smiled and said she had done such an amazing job in the last 3 months of her internship. He was very impressed with her ability to problem solve, complete projects, work with others on the team and with her talent. She sat there with her jaw dropped. She was interning this entire time for the president of this enormous firm and he never mentioned that one time? He said what he loved the most was the fact that when he gave her a project she took the time to learn how to do it and complete it. He said she was so driven to do it well and that showed her ability and character. He added that he loved when he asked her questions she was so focused on getting the answers by working even harder. He said he knew she could do it and she proved that he was right and was glad he gave her so much to do.
Tears began to well up in her eyes…all those times he asked her questions wasn't because he didn't know the answer…it was because he did know the answer but wanted her to either find the answer herself or trust that she already knew the answer and had to implement it herself instead of second guessing what she already knew. He didn't want her to depend on her first boss to come in and tell her what she did wrong & redo it. He was encouraging her to step out and gain confidence in her ability instead of comparing herself to another person's work.
She was overwhelmed at the very clear fact now that she had been interviewing for the president for the last 3 months. He took the time to believe in her, encourage her and trusted that she knew what she was doing. She was humbled at the thought of his leadership and how he never bragged about his very obvious accomplishments as the president of this multi million dollar company. He took time to encourage and believe in some girl intern he didn't even know! She felt guilt for thinking he was, at times, incompetent and lazy and now realized that he was intentionally giving her projects to train her for the job he knew laid ahead for her. He wanted her to believe in what she had hoped was true about herself….she did have talent.
He turned to her and said you are hired. Through her glassy eyes she said thank you but for what position. He turned to her first boss and said….you are hired for his position. She gasped. His position? Why? He said, because of his arrogance and project over site, I have lost more money than I care to admit. The morale on his floor has been shattered because everyone on his team feels inadequate and inferior to him. They never feel good enough to work on his projects and he re did most of their work only to present it to several of our clients completely wrong and it cost us money….but more importantly he has cost us our reputation with a clients because of his arrogant attitude.
You see, his words, are far more competent than his ability and he consistently wanted everyone to know how great he was. That is not the kind of leadership I want for my company. In order to build a company and a successful team, you need to get your employees to believe in their own God given abilities and talent & not try to mimic a person whose ability they think they need. Each person on my team needs to work on the job they are suppose to do instead of all doing the same job as some arrogant guy who thinks everyone should do it like him. I want a team not a dictator. And a team has many different jobs all working towards the same goal.
She left that day with a very powerful life lesson. Leadership comes in all sorts of styles and walking in humility, may very well give you the keys to a way bigger job than you ever knew you were interviewing for.
She learned that day to be careful as to how you treat people. Value them and their God given abilities. Be the kind of leader who encourages and inspires people to walk in all that God calls them to instead of intimidating them into what you want them to do. Each of us has different gifts and callings so be humble because who knows, God may be preparing you to lead something you never even imagined God could call you to lead!
Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10
Monday, February 3, 2014
Living in Community
My topic today is Community and I would really love to hear your feedback in the comment section at the end of the blog on today's subject, too. Feel free to share your heart.
Community.
I grew up in a small town further north. Came from a good family where family values and strong communication were always encouraged and expected. I grew up in a small church where everyone knew my name. I liked knowing that I was known and that my family was known. Actually, the whole town knew everyones name. Yes, kind of like that song.
How do you define community?
Connection and community were engrained into every fiber of who I (was) and am as a person. It was taught by example from very early on and expected unconditionally to be lived out and shared.
How do you define community?
It is the filter or lens I look through to see the world around me. It is how I view parenting, marriage, friendships, the Church and anything else I encounter involving people. It's how I view working relationships and serving or volunteering endeavors. To work together as a team. Appreciate each other. Listen and encourage one another. Share each others burdens. Acknowledge each other and not use one another for personal gain. Live with grace and mercy extended to those you are living life with, all while challenging each other.
Balance.
It is a concept I cannot escape. It is a concept that cannot be separated from who I am as a person. A concept I have never wanted to disconnect from or try to "weed" out of my personality….I loved it and it defined my world. Relational. Connected. Community driven & encouraged.
How do you define community?
A couple of weeks ago we were out to dinner with some good friends and church community was pretty much the topic of discussion for most of the night. The need by all of us to connect somewhere with someone, to be a part of a larger group of people we call home. To live life next to and share our lives with. There was a sense of how important this is in our lives.
There seemed to, at times, be an absence of opportunity to authenticaly connect to a body of believers throughout our lives. We tried to figure out why. (Not necessarily the absence of Christian friends because we all have those but more specifically a coming together each week to live life out together…connected more than the occasional dinner or coffee to catch up).
Maybe it is because we are all way to busy, over worked, over extended and stressed out to stop and take time to be involved in one another's lives. Maybe it's because somewhere along the line we had been hurt causing us to pull back from any community. No matter what the reasons were or are, I am sure that is not how God intended us to live….
Alone.
The very nature of God is relational. He is the Trinity. At His very core He is relationship driven and invites us to be the same with Him and with other believers.
Connecting with a community of believers takes some time and effort but the invested time does provide a return…community develops shared experiences while rejoicing with one another and carrying each other's burdens. A very Biblical principle.
Whenever people find it is easier to connect to their work, neighborhoods and non Christian friends, there is a problem. A real problem.
We are suppose to be surrounding ourselves with people where iron sharpens iron instead surrounding ourselves with groups where bad company is jeopardizing good character. Yet, so many churches are so often set up as great places to come on a Sunday morning but do not go beyond that to connect people past Sunday.
They are not challenged to live life together. Sunday becomes a cheerleading service but by Monday morning the lack luster of the pep rally has worn off leaving people to fight the faith alone or worse, not fight at all but rather drag themselves through the week disconnected from any other believer who can encourage, love and walk alongside them.
How do you define community?
I look back on difficult times in my own life and church community experiences both positive and negative have formed my outlook on what Church community should and should not look like. Now, those experiences in a huge way, motivate me to never let someone grieve or go through difficulties alone ever again if it is at all possible by me. I choose to continue to pursue a community of believers willing to live life out together and share in the ups and downs and encourage other Christians to do the same.
If you are a Christian but do not have community of believers you live life out with there is simply put, something pretty big and important missing in your life…. opportunities to share life with other Christians.
So many of us all asking the same question. How can I connect to a community of believers?
Maybe the owness falls on us. How do you connect though when you are not given opportunity? When the world offers a better opportunity to fit in their community than the Church does has become a problem. I grew up knowing what a church community or group of believers living life together should look like. It is what I pursue. It is what I was trying to do with Inspire…..connect lives. It is what I will continue to do for my entire life. Connect people.
How do you define community? Webster defines it as this...
Community defined: A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, goals and faith.
If you feel like you are missing this in your life, I want you to know that is not how God intended your Christian life to look. He does not want you to feel alone with no one involved in your life. He wants you to be connected to a community of believers!
Community.
I grew up in a small town further north. Came from a good family where family values and strong communication were always encouraged and expected. I grew up in a small church where everyone knew my name. I liked knowing that I was known and that my family was known. Actually, the whole town knew everyones name. Yes, kind of like that song.
How do you define community?
Connection and community were engrained into every fiber of who I (was) and am as a person. It was taught by example from very early on and expected unconditionally to be lived out and shared.
How do you define community?
It is the filter or lens I look through to see the world around me. It is how I view parenting, marriage, friendships, the Church and anything else I encounter involving people. It's how I view working relationships and serving or volunteering endeavors. To work together as a team. Appreciate each other. Listen and encourage one another. Share each others burdens. Acknowledge each other and not use one another for personal gain. Live with grace and mercy extended to those you are living life with, all while challenging each other.
Balance.
It is a concept I cannot escape. It is a concept that cannot be separated from who I am as a person. A concept I have never wanted to disconnect from or try to "weed" out of my personality….I loved it and it defined my world. Relational. Connected. Community driven & encouraged.
How do you define community?
A couple of weeks ago we were out to dinner with some good friends and church community was pretty much the topic of discussion for most of the night. The need by all of us to connect somewhere with someone, to be a part of a larger group of people we call home. To live life next to and share our lives with. There was a sense of how important this is in our lives.
There seemed to, at times, be an absence of opportunity to authenticaly connect to a body of believers throughout our lives. We tried to figure out why. (Not necessarily the absence of Christian friends because we all have those but more specifically a coming together each week to live life out together…connected more than the occasional dinner or coffee to catch up).
Maybe it is because we are all way to busy, over worked, over extended and stressed out to stop and take time to be involved in one another's lives. Maybe it's because somewhere along the line we had been hurt causing us to pull back from any community. No matter what the reasons were or are, I am sure that is not how God intended us to live….
Alone.
The very nature of God is relational. He is the Trinity. At His very core He is relationship driven and invites us to be the same with Him and with other believers.
Connecting with a community of believers takes some time and effort but the invested time does provide a return…community develops shared experiences while rejoicing with one another and carrying each other's burdens. A very Biblical principle.
Whenever people find it is easier to connect to their work, neighborhoods and non Christian friends, there is a problem. A real problem.
We are suppose to be surrounding ourselves with people where iron sharpens iron instead surrounding ourselves with groups where bad company is jeopardizing good character. Yet, so many churches are so often set up as great places to come on a Sunday morning but do not go beyond that to connect people past Sunday.
They are not challenged to live life together. Sunday becomes a cheerleading service but by Monday morning the lack luster of the pep rally has worn off leaving people to fight the faith alone or worse, not fight at all but rather drag themselves through the week disconnected from any other believer who can encourage, love and walk alongside them.
How do you define community?
I look back on difficult times in my own life and church community experiences both positive and negative have formed my outlook on what Church community should and should not look like. Now, those experiences in a huge way, motivate me to never let someone grieve or go through difficulties alone ever again if it is at all possible by me. I choose to continue to pursue a community of believers willing to live life out together and share in the ups and downs and encourage other Christians to do the same.
If you are a Christian but do not have community of believers you live life out with there is simply put, something pretty big and important missing in your life…. opportunities to share life with other Christians.
So many of us all asking the same question. How can I connect to a community of believers?
Maybe the owness falls on us. How do you connect though when you are not given opportunity? When the world offers a better opportunity to fit in their community than the Church does has become a problem. I grew up knowing what a church community or group of believers living life together should look like. It is what I pursue. It is what I was trying to do with Inspire…..connect lives. It is what I will continue to do for my entire life. Connect people.
How do you define community? Webster defines it as this...
Community defined: A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, goals and faith.
If you feel like you are missing this in your life, I want you to know that is not how God intended your Christian life to look. He does not want you to feel alone with no one involved in your life. He wants you to be connected to a community of believers!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Black & White & Gray All Over - Teens
My husband and I have 3 daughters 14, almost 12 and 10 years old. A house full of tweens and a teen have left us asking ourselves a few questions lately. How do we raise them in this age of technology when everywhere they turn they are getting inundated with some request for a social media site, endless available apps, movies and music. The long list of things to check on and watch for goes on and on.
Of course everyone has opinions of what to do and what not to do when your kids reach this age. Depending on the setting you hear anywhere from Instagram is alright but not FB, FB is alright but not twitter, I let me kids listen to Justin Beiber he's alright because (fill in the blank), or I let my kids watch Hunger Games because they know it's fake it's not real killing, Twilight is simple romance or they watched Harry Potter because everything is Disney magic anyways, monster high dolls are just dolls like Barbies, of course boy/girl parties are alright at 14 because I've taught them not to bad stuff (whatever line they have arbitrarily set & told themselves the bad stuff is). The lines and rules can make you dizzy with decisions.
I'm reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:23 "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive."
I could write a ton of what my own convictions are or speak from some of my soap boxes but why? I mean, really, they are just that my opinions. Rather, around my house these days I keep directing my girls to the Word of God which is always correct and always perfect. Never a word misspoken…just Truth. My opinions are just that, my opinions.
When faced today with a crazy insane amount of choices thrown our way as parents. Every day we are faced with questions from our kids for a new social media site to connect to, or an new app, a new song, a new book or movie. There are so many lines, we as parents, are left asking ourselves if that is a black or white answer or is that a gray zone. Lately, when we we are asked if they can do something I have turned it around and now ask them a question. Is what you are asking us to do permissible or beneficial?
Not in a legalistic sense. Simply from a heart perspective on what will benefit them and not hold them back or make them stumble in an area.
The heart is the wellspring of life and we are to guard it. We know that out of the heart the mouth speaks….so those are truths we have learned from the beginning. To follow that line of thinking out, whatever we are putting in our hearts will come back out….eventually and inevitably.
While, you can do all the gray areas that are permissible in your life I leave them with the question…will it benefit your life? And if yes, how?
We are teaching them at this age to ask God for themselves what He has for their lives. Like I said, my oldest is 14. I have 4 years left before she goes away to college and will be making so many of her decisions on her own. I want her and and my other 2 girls to learn the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to them on their own. To know right and wrong and to discern what is alright to put in their hearts and what is not. To decipher the difference between things that are permissible and you can get away with and the things that are beneficial. I know a few adults that could benefit from learning this lesson, too. It would save them a world of hurt and addiction.
As you are parenting your tweens and teens today, take a moment and ask yourself that same question for your own life. Is this that I am about to watch, listen to or do simply permissible or will it be beneficial in my own walk with God and then teach your kids that same concept. Give yourselves and your kids a Biblical gauge to remember when making choices.
Permissible or beneficial? Your choice.
***As a side note, if you've said yes to anything especially social media continue asking them questions, check up on their accounts to see what is going on. Always be involved and connected…don't be oblivious to what is going on under your own roof. Keep them safe and never be afraid of shutting down an account or deciding to change your mind and say no if you see a potential danger…it is your right and responsibility as a parent***
I'm reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:23 "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive."
I could write a ton of what my own convictions are or speak from some of my soap boxes but why? I mean, really, they are just that my opinions. Rather, around my house these days I keep directing my girls to the Word of God which is always correct and always perfect. Never a word misspoken…just Truth. My opinions are just that, my opinions.
When faced today with a crazy insane amount of choices thrown our way as parents. Every day we are faced with questions from our kids for a new social media site to connect to, or an new app, a new song, a new book or movie. There are so many lines, we as parents, are left asking ourselves if that is a black or white answer or is that a gray zone. Lately, when we we are asked if they can do something I have turned it around and now ask them a question. Is what you are asking us to do permissible or beneficial?
Not in a legalistic sense. Simply from a heart perspective on what will benefit them and not hold them back or make them stumble in an area.
The heart is the wellspring of life and we are to guard it. We know that out of the heart the mouth speaks….so those are truths we have learned from the beginning. To follow that line of thinking out, whatever we are putting in our hearts will come back out….eventually and inevitably.
While, you can do all the gray areas that are permissible in your life I leave them with the question…will it benefit your life? And if yes, how?
We are teaching them at this age to ask God for themselves what He has for their lives. Like I said, my oldest is 14. I have 4 years left before she goes away to college and will be making so many of her decisions on her own. I want her and and my other 2 girls to learn the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to them on their own. To know right and wrong and to discern what is alright to put in their hearts and what is not. To decipher the difference between things that are permissible and you can get away with and the things that are beneficial. I know a few adults that could benefit from learning this lesson, too. It would save them a world of hurt and addiction.
As you are parenting your tweens and teens today, take a moment and ask yourself that same question for your own life. Is this that I am about to watch, listen to or do simply permissible or will it be beneficial in my own walk with God and then teach your kids that same concept. Give yourselves and your kids a Biblical gauge to remember when making choices.
Permissible or beneficial? Your choice.
***As a side note, if you've said yes to anything especially social media continue asking them questions, check up on their accounts to see what is going on. Always be involved and connected…don't be oblivious to what is going on under your own roof. Keep them safe and never be afraid of shutting down an account or deciding to change your mind and say no if you see a potential danger…it is your right and responsibility as a parent***
Monday, December 23, 2013
To be inspired….
This was the year I felt God laid on my heart to launch Inspire 2013. I wanted it to be a place separate from any one specific church and a place to gather as a group of ladies as the body of Christ…not specific to any one denomination but rather in unity as Christians.
A place to come worship, hear from God a word specific to our lives, and then give opportunity to serve in our community and beyond. A place to allow God to heal our lives and then go beyond our own pain by bringing purpose to it all by helping others.
If any of you really know me, you know my heart is to consistently encourage hearts. Period. Whatever that may look like.
I wanted God to inspire a group of ladies (and kids in our highlighted ministries) that we are called to more than just the mundane day to day life. That our pain and brokenness does not have to define us. We are daughters and children of the King. We are more than conquerers. We are called. We have purpose. God has given us a heart to follow Him. I wanted to encourage our hearts to press in and take a hold of that which God has taken a hold of us for. His glory.
And, yet, somewhere along the journey of this past year of my life I realized that I needed that too. As I was wanting to encourage all of you, God was encouraging my heart as well. The beauty of pouring yourself out is that God pours His living water back into you only to be poured out again.
I am beyond thankful that God put this vision in my heart this year. I am unbelievably grateful to God for being able to meet so many amazing people through the ministries we have helped this year. I have been inspired by all of you and am so glad we are now friends! I love how He, in His perfect timing, brought so many amazing people into my life this year.
I'm grateful for friends I have known for a long time and for friends I have just met this year that have both come alongside of me, encouraged me and helped me with Inspire.
I am thankful for those of you God placed around me, who have the same heart as I do. I love that God has connected me with some amazing girls who share my same heart, vision and passion for helping people while bringing purpose from pain.
Thank you for helping me, sharing your heart and your vision with me, and encouraging me to not give up but keep going.
I am truly the one who has been inspired by all of you who have your own ministries and by those who are just starting to step into the things God has laid on your hearts to do. I love how God is working in all things at all times! I love that He can use me and can use anyone with a willing heart. Your stories you have shared with me have inspired me and challenged me to press in even more.
Thank you all who have come to one or all of our events or helped with an event by being a part of something that crossed denominations in the name of wanting more of God and wanting to give back.
Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year! We are planning and praying for the direction of Inspire 2014. There are some pretty cool ideas coming our way so please pray with us too, that God would lead and direct us in this next year.
We can't wait to see what God calls us to next!
A place to come worship, hear from God a word specific to our lives, and then give opportunity to serve in our community and beyond. A place to allow God to heal our lives and then go beyond our own pain by bringing purpose to it all by helping others.
If any of you really know me, you know my heart is to consistently encourage hearts. Period. Whatever that may look like.
I wanted God to inspire a group of ladies (and kids in our highlighted ministries) that we are called to more than just the mundane day to day life. That our pain and brokenness does not have to define us. We are daughters and children of the King. We are more than conquerers. We are called. We have purpose. God has given us a heart to follow Him. I wanted to encourage our hearts to press in and take a hold of that which God has taken a hold of us for. His glory.
And, yet, somewhere along the journey of this past year of my life I realized that I needed that too. As I was wanting to encourage all of you, God was encouraging my heart as well. The beauty of pouring yourself out is that God pours His living water back into you only to be poured out again.
I am beyond thankful that God put this vision in my heart this year. I am unbelievably grateful to God for being able to meet so many amazing people through the ministries we have helped this year. I have been inspired by all of you and am so glad we are now friends! I love how He, in His perfect timing, brought so many amazing people into my life this year.
I'm grateful for friends I have known for a long time and for friends I have just met this year that have both come alongside of me, encouraged me and helped me with Inspire.
I am thankful for those of you God placed around me, who have the same heart as I do. I love that God has connected me with some amazing girls who share my same heart, vision and passion for helping people while bringing purpose from pain.
Thank you for helping me, sharing your heart and your vision with me, and encouraging me to not give up but keep going.
I am truly the one who has been inspired by all of you who have your own ministries and by those who are just starting to step into the things God has laid on your hearts to do. I love how God is working in all things at all times! I love that He can use me and can use anyone with a willing heart. Your stories you have shared with me have inspired me and challenged me to press in even more.
Thank you all who have come to one or all of our events or helped with an event by being a part of something that crossed denominations in the name of wanting more of God and wanting to give back.
Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year! We are planning and praying for the direction of Inspire 2014. There are some pretty cool ideas coming our way so please pray with us too, that God would lead and direct us in this next year.
We can't wait to see what God calls us to next!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
TOP 10 THINGS I'VE LEARNED THIS YEAR.
1. My husband is a saint. No really. You should meet him. He is the template for the kind of guy I hope & pray our girls will marry. He has a dry sense of humor that he uses at all the right moments, yet listens and gives great advice. He will let me hide behind him when needed, he will take the fall, he will stand back when he knows it's my turn to fly, he will hold me, he will wipe away my tears (both happy and sad), his talent is unparalleled, he is the strongest man of God I have ever met and yet will never tell you about any of these qualities….humility and integrity he lives out but never announces. See? A saint. I have grown to love him even more this year (if that were even possible).
2. Friends are like a box of chocolates. All completely different but completely necessary for different events, moods, deep talks and laughing. Every girl needs a variety of friends with different perspectives and personalities to hang out with for a myriad of reasons. Some will keep you grounded. Some will let you dream and some will dream with you. And, heck, every girl needs all of that, right? Oh, and consider getting rid of the bad ones for you...who likes the flakey coconut ones? Yuck.
3. Forgivness is choice. Period. People can wrong you. People can hurt you. People can say words that cut deep into the core of who you are. But at the end of the day forgiveness is a choice and to choose not to forgive only hurts you. So,just forgive.
4. You can't fix the world. This lesson may spill over into 2014 and beyond. Oh, the balance in wanting to change the world while realizing when it is time to let go because it is well beyond what you can do. It’s alright to keep learning this. It means you want to help...just know the balance and the lines not to cross.
5. Eat more carbs. Exercise it off. Count calories again the next day and splurge a bit again….and repeat (oh, and this is done best with a friend).
6. Find something to laugh about at least once a day. And give yourself permission to not be perfect but let it go from time to time. Some rules are meant to be broken.
7. Yes, you can start something big without a person giving you permission. You can be a world changer and nobody but God gives you definition or permission to do so. Another man is just that…another man or woman. Only God alone has the plans for your life seek Him for that and nobody else. Not everyone is going to understand your actions…that's alright…you have to answer to God not the naysayers of the world anyways. God defends. Let Him do that while you walk out what He tells you to do.
8. Protect your child's innocence even when all the other parents are saying something is alright….go with your gut if you feel that it isn't! Remember in jr high when all the kids would tell you, well everybody's doing it? Did you listen? No? Good for you, repeat and teach your kids that kind tenascity and resolve. Yes? Well, nows the time to redeem yourself and teach your kids they don't have to listen to peer pressure….God gave you those little kids as gifts, protect them and their innocence with your life. It's your main job. Do it like there is a huge bonus on the line. Because there is. It's called their eternity.
9. While on the topic of kids. Love God in front of them. Love your spouse in front of them. Not with your words necessarily, but rather with your life and actions. Kids listen better with their eyes. You can impact and inspire them without ever saying a word. They are watching and doing what they see play out in front of them at home not what they are told.
10. Love unconditionally. Love deeply even when others aren't looking or when nobody understands your reasoning, show love anyways. Give your life to something you believe in. Give to others. Allow yourself to feel your pain, and heal, then feel others pain enough to share the hope given to you by God that not all is lost but rather there will be joy again in the morning. Sometimes things are learned best during your darkest hours only to share what you've learned in the morning.
Rinse and repeat in 2014.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
The LOST forgiveness.
I was watching an old episode of LOST a while back and it was a scene where Sayid was captured by a husband of a women he had formally tortured. Her husband was going to bring justice by torturing Sayid now. After many beatings, the wife walks in and sits as Sayid begs to let him go and pleads with her that they have the wrong guy. She begs him to remember her. To validate her pain. To acknowledge the anquish he put her through. He finally acknowledges it and breaks down crying stating that he has seen her face in his minds eye every day since he tortured her and there were no words that could express his sincere apology accurately.
You then expect her to bring her husband back in and beat or kill him but instead she says a line I remembered from the last time I watched that episode years earlier but was reminded of again. She said.
I will let you go.
I will tell my husband we have the wrong man. You will be free. He was crying and with a puzzled look on his face he simply asks a question. Why? Why are you letting me go. Her response? Because I refuse to stoop to your level and hurt you like you hurt me so as to be a captive by unforgiveness. I forgive you for what you did to me. You cannot make me a prisoner to unforgiveness any longer. I forgive you. Now leave.
It was a powerful moment of extreme forgiveness and her determination to not let unforgiveness hold her back or captive to it.
The night in which Jesus was betrayed, he took bread and broke it....
We have heard this scripture a million and one times if you have grown up in a Church. But it hasn't been until recently that I realized the weight of that first line. The writer wants us to know something pretty amazing here. The very same night when they were all coming together and sharing a meal Jesus knew this was His last supper but He also knew Judas was going to betray him by taking money and giving Him over to the Roman guards yet He served Judas anyway. He was (is) God. He knew who was sitting at the table with him. He served him anyways.
He forgave Judas before Judas even needed forgiveness. The coming betrayal was something we needed to read. We needed to know that Jesus knew that. Yet in that same night, despite His coming betrayal, He broke bread with Judas anyways. The very same night Jesus was betrayed was the same night He not only broke bread with his betrayer, but Jesus didn't let that hold Him back from what He was called to do that night. He goes on to die and rise again for all of humanity....despite their sinful humanity to be set free from their sinful humanity.
There are bumps and detours in our lives. There is pain, devastation, abuse, brokenness, wrongs done to us. Words spoken to us. Intentional and unintentional wounds inflicted to us by other. Losses. Betrayals and flat out lies, at times, made up about us. Broken friendships, marriages and families.
If we are to model Jesus' life. We are to forgive. None of us are being betrayed unto death. But harboring unforgivness can be a spiritual death. It can devastate a life. It can hold you captivate. It can isolate you. It can trip you up by focusing on what was done to you. It can get you stuck in an endless cycle of trying to right the wrong. To fix that person and get them to get them to understand what they have done to you. It can get you to come down to their level, making you just like them. A captive to pain and unforgiveness.
Let it go. Forgive. Even when they don't deserve it. Even when they don't understand or sometimes even acknowledge the pain they inflicted upon you (that is the hardest thing to do, I know, you feel like forgiving them gives them the upper hand that, in some way, you forgiving them tells them what they did to you was alright). It wasn't alright, but God will deal with them. You are only responsible for allowing God to free your heart of unforgiveness and move on in all that He has called you to.
Forgive them today. Don't stay down there with them. Be set free today. Forgive them, let it go.
It is what Jesus calls us to do. It's what Jesus did and continues to do with all of us. There is freedom for you in forgiving. Take that step.
You then expect her to bring her husband back in and beat or kill him but instead she says a line I remembered from the last time I watched that episode years earlier but was reminded of again. She said.
I will let you go.
I will tell my husband we have the wrong man. You will be free. He was crying and with a puzzled look on his face he simply asks a question. Why? Why are you letting me go. Her response? Because I refuse to stoop to your level and hurt you like you hurt me so as to be a captive by unforgiveness. I forgive you for what you did to me. You cannot make me a prisoner to unforgiveness any longer. I forgive you. Now leave.
It was a powerful moment of extreme forgiveness and her determination to not let unforgiveness hold her back or captive to it.
The night in which Jesus was betrayed, he took bread and broke it....
We have heard this scripture a million and one times if you have grown up in a Church. But it hasn't been until recently that I realized the weight of that first line. The writer wants us to know something pretty amazing here. The very same night when they were all coming together and sharing a meal Jesus knew this was His last supper but He also knew Judas was going to betray him by taking money and giving Him over to the Roman guards yet He served Judas anyway. He was (is) God. He knew who was sitting at the table with him. He served him anyways.
He forgave Judas before Judas even needed forgiveness. The coming betrayal was something we needed to read. We needed to know that Jesus knew that. Yet in that same night, despite His coming betrayal, He broke bread with Judas anyways. The very same night Jesus was betrayed was the same night He not only broke bread with his betrayer, but Jesus didn't let that hold Him back from what He was called to do that night. He goes on to die and rise again for all of humanity....despite their sinful humanity to be set free from their sinful humanity.
There are bumps and detours in our lives. There is pain, devastation, abuse, brokenness, wrongs done to us. Words spoken to us. Intentional and unintentional wounds inflicted to us by other. Losses. Betrayals and flat out lies, at times, made up about us. Broken friendships, marriages and families.
If we are to model Jesus' life. We are to forgive. None of us are being betrayed unto death. But harboring unforgivness can be a spiritual death. It can devastate a life. It can hold you captivate. It can isolate you. It can trip you up by focusing on what was done to you. It can get you stuck in an endless cycle of trying to right the wrong. To fix that person and get them to get them to understand what they have done to you. It can get you to come down to their level, making you just like them. A captive to pain and unforgiveness.
Let it go. Forgive. Even when they don't deserve it. Even when they don't understand or sometimes even acknowledge the pain they inflicted upon you (that is the hardest thing to do, I know, you feel like forgiving them gives them the upper hand that, in some way, you forgiving them tells them what they did to you was alright). It wasn't alright, but God will deal with them. You are only responsible for allowing God to free your heart of unforgiveness and move on in all that He has called you to.
Forgive them today. Don't stay down there with them. Be set free today. Forgive them, let it go.
It is what Jesus calls us to do. It's what Jesus did and continues to do with all of us. There is freedom for you in forgiving. Take that step.
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